Real Moms...Real Jesus Discussion Chapter 1
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Welcome to week one of our Real Moms...Real Jesus discussion! Feel free to respond to one or all of the posted questions.
Let's start with the Perspective: How Can God Understand?
Have you ever considered how often Jesus was on his way to do something, but someone crossed his path and he had to pause to care for them, talk to them, or answer their questions?
In a mom's life, some call it motherhood ADD. We head to do one thing and then we get distracted by real life and the real needs of our family. But those kinds of distraction are not lost upon Jesus. He understands the constant demand! Is that a new thought for you?
How do you feel about calling motherhood "the ministry of availability?" In what way does that reframe motherhood for you? Is it positive or negative?
Let's move on to Chapter 1: Jesus Served
Each week I'll ask the same question about each chapter:
What is one takeaway from this chapter that you want to move from your head to your heart?
For me, I'm still working on the "serve with a curve" mindset. I understand the principle, but too often my "to do" list takes precedence over going to God first. I need to be better about "withdrawing to a lonely place" on a daily basis. Anyone else struggle with that?
April 7, 2009 8:36 AM
Jill - First of all I must thank you for this book. When I sat down to read it, I couldn't put it down! Your words of truth and wisdom rang so true in my heart. In chapter 1 two things really stuck out to me. #1 by trying to keep a thankful heart, I can go many days not concerned about being appreciated but on those days when my heart is not so thankful for my husband and children, I can really get myself into a pity party over all I do with no appreciation. This goes back to spending more time focused on God so that my servant heart doesn't fall back into me, me, me. Thank you for the reminder. #2 Allowing someone else to serve me is very difficult. I know that God has called me to specifically serve by encouraging others. I find myself encouraging others but not accepting/receiving encouragment for myself. I feel guilty and inconsiderate when asking others to help me. I know in my head that God has placed others around me to walk this walk with me but I need help getting it to my heart. Thanks again for this book. I have already learned alot.
April 7, 2009 9:27 AM
Christie,
Thanks so much for sharing! I really struggle with both of those---probably #2 even more. But since I've changed my perspective that when I receive someone is getting the blessing of giving---it's really helped!
April 7, 2009 10:02 AM
Good morning Jill, I'm new at this blogging thing so hopefully I'm doing this correctly. This book is absolutley amazing. It must have taken you a long time to put it all together. The three biggest challenges for me are letting others help me out, not being appreciated, and finding more "quite time with God". I would have to say that the biggest challenge for me is the allowing others to help out. I feel like I'm failing if I "need" someone to help me. Let's face it after a hard day doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, cleaning and everything else we do it's hard to find the energy at night for baths and bedtime routine but I will not allow anyone to help with that because "it's my job". I have always been like that..my husband will offer and I just say thanks but I don't mind. But then I'm upset that he gets time to rest alone or that I'm not being appreciated. I'm going to practice and work really hard at this. I've been more cautious to find that quite time even if it is for 2 minutes and talk with God. I'm going to try and make it 10 minutes though and then maybe we'll have more time to prioritize life. Lots of things to work on but these are the most important to me when I was reading. Have a great day and look forward to more blogging.
April 7, 2009 10:58 AM
The begining of this book really touched my heart and made me think, "God really understands me". I never thought of Jesus as understanding what it is like to be a mother, but Jill's examples show He really does. Like other moms have posted I have a hard time carving out time in my day for quiet time with God. I tend to do my Bible reading before bed at night, the only quiet part of my day, but by then I am exhausted. I may need to retreat to the bathroom with the door closed for just 10 minutes in the middle of the day to pray, read scripture, and re-fuel spiritually!
-D.M.B.
April 7, 2009 11:19 AM
On the perspective...I can so relate! I finally put my Bible study stuff by my bed because if I turn a light on or move, my little ones get up too!
Serving with a curve is something God has been teaching me too. The Scripture He used for me is when Jesus fed the masses with one little lunch. The disciples would get some from Jesus, pass it out, then they had to go back to Jesus and get some more to hand out. They were not the ones doing the miracle and it multiplied in their hands. They had to return to the Source for more. As a mom, I can not do it on my own. I have to return to the Source of love, patience, grace, wisdom, energy, creativity... to serve through the day.
Romans 11:36
For everything comes from Him and exists by His power and is inteded for His glory. All glory to Him forever! Amen.
I struggle with teaching my children how to serve. It is easier to just avoid it or just do it myself instead of involving them. I guess it would be the same for God, but He values what we are becoming and we would miss out on so much. Hmm, I'll have to work on that one.
April 7, 2009 11:50 AM
I've ready the story of Jesus and the Samartian woman many times, but I appreciate the new perspective I have about how he was on his way from Judea to Galilee and happened to get stopped in Samaria. I never really noticed how John notes that Jesus was tired from his journey, yet he stopped and took time for the woman who needed to have that conversation with him.
As a planner, I often have my agenda made out for each day, but I'm slowly learning that some of the best moments in my days are the ones for which I didn't plan.
April 7, 2009 3:12 PM
I love the phrase minstry of availability. There are so many days I look back and wonder what I accomplished, but I was available to my family. That is the most important thing. It is a good reminder!
I love the quote in the book of your friend Don who said, "Don't ever deny me the opportunity to serve my Lord." I was having a hard time lining up babysitting for a portion of the HAH conference on Friday, I was thinking I would have to go home and miss part of the day. Then a friend offered to watch my kids during that time. I said yes, but it was a lot harder than I thought. I didn't want to inconvenience her (even though she was the one who offered, I hadn't even asked her!). It is hard to let others serve me, and much easier to serve others. That quote gives me a lot to think about.
April 7, 2009 9:54 PM
Jill, this is the best book ever! I have been able to share many things with people I come across about how you show and compare mother hood to Jesus' ministry, most of them had never thought of it that way so it makes for great conversations. The biggest thing for me was, I think I cried through the first two pages, your story on the creeping and trying to get quiet time reminded me of the exact same thing happening to me, I used to ask people if they remember the Maxwell house commercials where the people could smell the coffee brewing and they would all get up and meet in the kitchen, well I swore that my kids could smell me when i got up because it would literally be 2 seconds and sometimes 4:45am and they still would SMELL me and get up, I would be so quiet too or sometimes just open my eyes and think about getting out of bed and I would hear feet thumping, God really had to work on my heart and instead of getting so angry and frustrated I read to them my quiet time and prayed with them or sometimes quietly to myself,
God laid on my heart that it is the example on ME doing quiet time with Him that they needed to see, it will not be foreign to them later in life when they get closer to him. The reasonfor my tears is that my last child went to kindergarten this year ,(I have two others 11yr old whom I homeschooled three years and and 8 yr old) that has been my job for ten years and I feel like it was taken from me,I do help at the school at times and a job I do at home to keep me BUSY I guess but it is not the same, I am having a hard time letting go, I never thought I would feel this way. I think how frustrated I used to be, and how fast it went, we are transitioning to a new season and I am the one not doing it as gracefully and I expected myself to. sorry for the rambling, so to answer the question letting my husband serve me is hard because if I see him doing things, I think that i should have had it done, or I am not doing things well, and he does not think that way at all, he just sees something that needs done and gets it done he does not keep alist to compare that he has done more than me. He does it cause he love me and wants to help, but inside I struggle with the good enough thing.
Have a great day!
Deb H
April 7, 2009 10:02 PM
I'm so glad you're having the discussion on this book. This book has already blessed my life and I look forward to reading more.
The idea of "the ministry of availability" really has made me stop and think. Am I available? I don't want to let things that don't even matter get in the way of my being available to my family.
April 7, 2009 10:05 PM
I'm really enjoying this book! Thank you for writing it.
I too grasp the phrase 'ministry of availability' with both hands and hang on--it's helped me define myself and what I do all day. I'm praying that God changes my heart and mind to hold onto the idea of motherhood being a job itself. I almost feel like the next time someone asks me what I do I can say, "oh well I'm a minister of availablity." I would love to see their reaction!
I also appreciated your thoughts and reminders to let others help. I know in my head that it's not a weakness to ask for help or accept a friend that is offering but sometimes it take this reminder to change my heart.
April 7, 2009 10:14 PM
To begin with your first perspective question: No! I never considered that at all. I really never gave the settings of the stories in the bible much thought other than the lesson within each of them. I never thought about the details & I'm finding that sometimes the details can be just as important than the lesson. Thinking about the details makes Jesus and the "names" in the bible REAL to me...he had REAL friends, a REAL mommy, REAL struggles, REAL followers, REAL frustrations. Never thought about that. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I think that being the central theme of the book is going to have a drastic effect on how I pray and how I look at my relationship with Jesus as well as how I teach my children to embrace Jesus. Thank you for that.
Thinking about motherhood as being "the ministry of availability" is right on, but not easy to swallow. We should be available, we are called to be available, but most of the time I'm not available. I am busy checking email, cleaning up from breakfast or lunch, wanting a moment to myself to read, have a cup of tea or just lay down, etc. I should be playing, teaching, painting, laughing more. It's a hard pill to swallow, being truly present & available, but it's one we as moms should swallow. Our kids need us more than they need anyone else in the world.
The take-away for me: Understanding and wholeheartedly embracing the fact that just as Jesus was a joyful servant/leader, so should I be a joyful servant/leader to my kids. Joyful in the sense of accepting the ups and especially downs of motherhood *with grace*--knowing God's hand in the bigger picture no matter the circumstances. Meaning, I should **embrace** mothering when...I am cleaning up dried spinach off my floor or wiping a really nasty poop or trying to discipline my child without losing my cool. I am good at the leadership part. I need to become good at the servant part. I need to serve *joyfully*...as I fold each piece of laundry, I could be praying for my children's feet (as I fold socks) or for their legs than run all over my house (as I fold their pants), etc. As I clean the toilets, I need to remember I am so blessed to have dried pee on the floor that I forgot to clean up a few hours prior, because some people who desperately want kids don't have that *blessing* (yes, dried pee...you read that correctly). As I brave finger painting in the kitchen, I need to enjoy that moment without thinking of the mess I'll need to clean up afterwards. As I take a half hour to bundle the kids up to go on a winter's day walk to have my 3 year old tell me she needs to go to the bathroom as we're walking out the door, I need to stop acting like I live such a hard life, because while mothering *is* so hard, it is so rewarding & so wonderful.
April 7, 2009 11:57 PM
My take away is to lead a more balanced life, a.k.a. take the time to refuel with Christ AND rest. Jesus' ability to meet the needs of those who were interruptions humbled me. He offers us that same ability, yet my choices cause me to lack what is necessary. My heart is willing, but my flesh so weak; I need Jesus! I stay at home with my kids and want to be available, but too often I'm over tired (need more rest) and haven't the resources, b/c I haven't charged my spirit through Christ. The enemy is clearly at work, keeping me from plugging into The Source who provides all we need and gives us the strength to be available even for all of those unexpected interruptions. I'm so thankful that Christ offers us the very fruits of His Spirit, if only we will take the time to receive them.
April 8, 2009 7:12 AM
Thank you so much for writing this book Jill, I can see just by reading the first chapter that it is going to be such an inspiration. Like other ladies I am sure, some passages I can read and say, "I knew that" but then I wonder, "Do I really?" I used to think that it was just me who had struggles as a Mom and thought everyone else had it so together and I was just barely getting through by the seat of my pants. This book helps us realize that we are not merely getting by, we are living life and we serving God by doing it! Our family should not be considered an interruption; this is what we signed up for by becoming a parent! This is a hard book to put down and I just want to keep reading!
April 8, 2009 7:54 AM
I was really struck with "receiving the serve." There are many areas pulling for my attention and the to-do list is long. However, I start to think I'm SuperMom and it's no problem...my focus shifts to me. I need to remember it is all God's strength and when people offer help it is not weakness to say "Yes, thank you!" It is their opportunity to serve. That really blessed me to be reminded of that: focus thanks on God and let others help!
Jen N.
April 8, 2009 3:28 PM
Jill--I have really enjoyed the book so far. The part that I would like to get from my head to my heart is the part regarding servant leadership with the children. I feel that I do a fairly decent job havinge a servant's heart for a limited amount of time. But, then, I just get tired of being the one doing most of the serving, and I start to notice some bitterness building up. I want to be a servant like Jesus. He did not have a time limit on his attitude. Oh, to be like Him! I know that I will never be, but I want to move in that direction!
April 8, 2009 10:34 PM
I have been reading a little bit every day while I lay in bed with my son - trying to get him to take a nap! Every day I read something that is totally for me that day! Its nice to know that I am not the only mom out there who is more of a "straight shooter" like me. My husband has such a gentle way in reaching the kids and I used to envy that. Now I am seeing how I can take each day at a time and allow God to great a gentle and compassionate heart within me. I am glad that I can do this while my kids are still young. (ages 8,6,3,&2) I look forward to reading more tomorrow!
Thanks for writing this! I have sent a copy to my friends and I have a spare here - in case of an emergency!
April 9, 2009 4:26 PM
Jill,
I am a couple of days late, but my book just came in...
I loved this perspective! I so needed to hear that Jesus was interrupted. I have a 4 1/2 yr old, 2 yr old, and a 7 month old...and I am always interrupted! I definitely need to realize and understand that my boys are a part of my ministry! Thank you for this book! I will participate in a more timely manner next week :)
April 10, 2009 2:29 PM
I would like to reply to Jen's comment on servant leadership with children. I agree with what she wrote. So often it is easier to be sweet and serve outside the home, but home interruptions can be wearying. I appreciate the reminder to practice that servant leadership continually with those in my home- those who are learning by may actions!
Jen N
April 14, 2009 12:00 PM
For me serving my husband, my children and those
around me comes easy. Jesus showed us how to serve others and we are to live by his example.
Although some days it may be easier to serve at
my church or children's school then in my home
with my children. I know if I look to the Lord
for help he is there!
I too have 4 children ages 6-12 and they do
need to be served, learn how to serve others and
I can show them that by serving them and those around me.
Thankyou Jill, this book is great!