Last week I heard from a mom who has felt very frustrated in her friendships. She feels like she has joined so many groups looking for friendships, but they’ve never formed.
I understand her frustration. That was me many years ago. I felt like I did my best to join groups and be involved in all kinds of things. Friendships just never formed until I changed my strategy and moved from just “joining” to “inviting.”
Once I joined a group, I started inviting. I invited a mom and her kids over for a play date. I invited someone I met to meet me for coffee. When I left my moms group, I always invited someone over to have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. I invited a “possible new friend” to bring her kids and meet my kids and me at the park. Suddenly I began to see the beginnings of friendship forming!
When I started leading a moms group, I told the moms in my group, “Mom To Mom is where you’ll meet some wonderful women. Your living room is where you’ll build some wonderful friendships.” In other words, you have to invite!
If you’re not comfortable having someone in your home, that’s fine! Meet for coffee, meet at a park, or go for a walk!
Are you tired of always being the one to invite? I hear that complaint from women a lot. I understand. Even today, with years of friendship under my belt, I invite 10 times more than I’m ever invited. I think it’s a reality of trying to connect with busy moms. I also think it’s a reality of connecting with others in a pseudo-connected world. We’re so connected online that we feel more connected than we really are. Not only that but we aren’t flexing our in-person relational muscles nearly as often as we need to so people are more hesitant to invite because they’re insecure in reaching out and often afraid of rejection.
Invite another mom to join you at the park.
Invite a woman you’ve met at church to meet you for a cup of coffee.
Invite a mom you talk to while watching your daughter’s gymnastics class to get the kids together outside of class.
It’s scary. Even a little risky. You might get a no…and if you do, invite someone else!
After all, we mom better when we mom together!
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