Last Friday, our school let out early to celebrate Homecoming. My boys came home and Austin announced that he’d like to go to the Homecoming parade.
I told him that if he wanted to go, I’d go with him. To that he promptly replied, “Mom, I dont want to go with YOU. I want to go with my friends.”
Of course….what was I thinking?
It’s taken me five kids to realize that when a statement like that is made, I can’t take it personally!
Those few words were all about my son and not about me at all. This is not rejection. This is birthing pains…birthing pains of independence.
And its normal.
When we, as parents, make our childrens actions, misbehavior, or words about us, we cease being an effective parent. Instead we have to realize that their words, their actions, their misbehavior is about them, not us. We need this perspective to be able to effectively handle whatever situation we are facing.
I ended up taking Austin to the parade…I dropped him off to meet his friends along the route. An hour later I picked him up.
We talked along the way to and from the parade about school and some of his friends.
If I’d taken his comment personally, I would have missed out on some great conversations with my son.
What about you? How do you work to not take your childrens actions personally?
By they way…if you want to catch Day 2 of the Family Life Radio Program on Living With Less, you can listen online www.familylife.com.