Fifty Shades of No

There’s a push these days for healthy eating.  We have more nutritional information than any previous generation and many of us are conscious of our carbs, sodium, and calorie consumption more than ever before. Countless concerned moms are limiting processed foods and trying to provide fresh, organic foods for their families.

There’s also a push for green home products. More and more we’re hearing about just how many chemicals can be found in everyday cleaning supplies. Scores of conscientious moms are making their own cleaning supplies using natural products like vinegar and baking soda.

After all, we want what’s best for our family and some of us will go the distance to protect them from the dangers of this world. Right?

We’re concerned about what we’re putting in our mouths. We’re concerned about what we’re absorbing through our skin. Why then are we not concerned about what we’re feeding our minds?

What I’m talking about are the droves of mothers who are grabbing girlfriends and heading out to see the movie “Magic Mike.”  I’m also referring to the thousands of moms who are snatching the book Fifty Shades of Grey off bookstore shelves or downloading it onto their Kindle or Nook readers.

Let me tell you right up front, I haven’t seen the movie “Magic Mike,” nor have I read Fifty Shades of Grey. I won’t be opening my heart up to either one.  Why? Because I firmly believe they are junk food for the mind.

In the same way that potato chips do nothing to nourish my body, movies about male strippers and erotica novels do nothing to nourish my mind.

There’s a reason God tells us in Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

He clearly wants us to consume only what is good for our mind.

I won’t be reading an erotica novel or seeing a sexually tantalizing movie for these reasons:

  • They can cause me to compare my real life to something that is not real. This can cause me to be dissatisfied with my real life and ultimately become discontent.
  • They can erode my sense of right and wrong.Sex outside of marriage is wrong, no matter how you paint the picture. I don’t need to feed my mind any message that desensitizes me to what is right and what is wrong.
  • They can cause me to think about another man. The Bible calls this lust and God says it’s not healthy for our hearts and minds.

Don’t get me wrong. I like sex. A lot. I wouldn’t have written a book on the subject if I didn’t!

However, I’m intensely aware of how easily the human heart can be led in the wrong direction.  A movie here. A novel there. Before you know it, your heart has been drawn away from the things most important in this world.

For me there’s fifty shades of “no” and there’s no magic in Mike…only Mark.

Will you join me in fifty shades of “no?”

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102 Responses to Fifty Shades of No

  1. Julie says:

    Thank you for writing this. I firmly agree. I’m a 26 year old wife and mother, therefor am in that age bracket that both of these are aimed for. We are the generation of looser morals. A lot of my friends are talking about seeing/reading them. I am not. There is no way I would ever want my daughter seeing or reading these things even if she was of age so why would I participate in them?

    I like to joke that if I really feel the need to go see a half naked/naked man, I am sure my husband would be happy to oblige. :)

    • JillSavage says:

      I love it, Julie! I’m sure my husband would too! Love that!

    • Ashley says:

      I am so glad to hear someone else my age feels the same way. I have had alot of people tell me I need to go see this movie and I just don’t want to. If I needed to see that I would ask my husband to do it to. LOL. As for the book I wanted to read it but have not been able to find it so I think that is god saying I don’t really need to.

      • Julie says:

        I found the movie tempting but only because I enjoy Matthew M. I prefer him with Kate Hudson though. The subject doesn’t thrill me in the least. The book…..I read what it was about after I kept hearing about it and have no desire whatsoever. Apparently, that is strange.

      • Katie says:

        Ashley, have you tried looking at a book store?

  2. Julie McNatt says:

    I’d be happy to join you! Thanks for writing this!

  3. Jennifer says:

    Jill —

    I love you and respect you as an author and Christian woman, but this is one article that I disagree with. I have read the books and have not yet seen the movie….but am hoping to soon. While I understand that this article is your thoughts and your opinions, I have my own as well. Let the spirited debate begin! =)

    • Tracy says:

      Jill,
      Thanks for being bold enough to address this issue. I couldn’t agree with you more. I stopped watching TV series in which lust and adultery were the main story lines because I found myself rootig for the couple who was having the affair instead of rooting for the marriage . This includes also includes the Oprah show. I rememer once watching an episode in which she had women on whose husbands had cheated. I think the goal of the show was to provide information but woman after woman talked about how they would have never expected their husband to cheat. Honestly, after 30 mins. of watching, I began to open my mind to the fact that my husband could do that too. At that point, I turned off the TV an vowed to not watch Oprah again. All of these things reinforce how powerful the mind is to lead us astray.

  4. Olivia Adair says:

    Thank you for writing this! I blogged on this a week or so ago as well and for the first time in the four years I had been blogging, I received some very hateful comments. There is such a spiritual battle being fought and these topics certainly expose that truth in regard to the hearts and minds of women. Thank you for your heart for others!

  5. shelley says:

    The Bible is very clear throughout that we are to “put no vile thing before our eyes” (David in Psalms) and that our eyes are to be on the Lord, and we are to pursue righteousness and integrity. The new testament clearly states that we are to “think on these things” that are true, honorable, right, excellent, pure, praiseworthy (Phil 4:8). Just as we would be (or should be) appalled that our husbands would go see a movie with female strippers, or read books about S&M and other sexual perversions, Christ-following women and wives and girls preparing themselves to be godly wives someday should have no interest in these things.

    There is no debate among those who live far from the line; only for those who live in the gray areas.

    • Kimery says:

      What surprises me most is that there is a need to discuss this, that it is wrong. How far away from righteousness we’ve come. “How much can I get away with?” seems to be our pervading question of the day, not “does this in any way honor or dishonor the Savior’s name?”

      Thank you for those of you who take the heat for righteousness’ sake!
      I’m going to copy and paste some of your comments on my FB page – as Tony the Tiger says, “They’re GrEEEEEEEEEEEAT.”

    • Terri says:

      Shelley – great follow up response!

      I used to work with kids going through the grieving process. One of our little guys to help them understand the different stages was “Mr. Denial” and he wore these great big dark sunglasses. I think about those girls that are saying it’s okay to read this stuff or see this stuff. They have their Mr. Denial glasses on. They keep on and one day (and I do speak from experience) the tempter will take that stronghold he has over them and create havoc in their marriages through insecurity, paranoia and possibly much, much more! Girls – take those glasses off now!

  6. Sara Spencer says:

    Thanks Jill…….
    This is just a start. We all should be speaking out about such things. Not to spread hatred or judgement, but in love and teaching for those confused about the calling that our Heavenly Father has on each of our lives. I was just listening to a sermon series on peace. Phillipians 4:7 says, And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
    We can not find true peace while filling our hearts and minds with things that only lead to temptation. While some may not be led in any way to act on such books or movies, many insecure ladies and gentlemen could be led down a path that could cause far more harm that good.
    Jill, keep using your platform for His good!

  7. Heather says:

    Jill,
    Thank you for addressing this topic. I agree whole-heartedly. While I have not read the novel or seen the movie, Ihave read novels in the same genre in the past and I can confirm that there is no purpose for the graphic sexual language other than to incite those feelings in the reader. As you said, sex outside of marriage, in any form, is wrong. For those of us who are married, our husbands should be the ones filling us with these feelilngs. For the single ladies, there is no need to stir up feelings. Just my two cents. But I believe the Bible is abundantly clear on how slippery the slope gets when we take just one small step outside of God’s perfect plan for sex.

  8. shelly says:

    I have not seen the movie or read the book and I agree, Jill. When I was in youth group we did a skit where a Christian girl went through her day with a character representing Jesus followed her all day. But when she was called to go to a party, she tried to get Him to stay home. She finally nailed Him to the cross. It is a vivid picture that I still remember. If I went to the movie, would I feel comfortable with Jesus sitting beside me? Sure, I have seen things I shouldn’t have, but if I know from the outset that it is full of inappropriate material, I try to avoid it.

  9. Stephanie L says:

    Jill, thank you for taking a stand against this whole new frontier that Satan has placed for women to wander into. I have heard the books (which I have not read, nor will read) termed “Mommy Porn.” What other reason would there be to read them then to be excited, sexually? If it is great literature that a woman (or man) is after, there are plenty of great, clean books. If it is that a Christian couple wants to be aided (an excuse I have come across a lot) in their sex life, read Song of Solomon, or better yet, just start having sex with each other more and pray about your sex life. I love the verses in Phil. 4 – to me, it clearly defines what we should be thinking about (and when we read a book or watch a movie, we are thinking about it). Are these books pure? No – they are about out-of-wedlock domineering sex. Are they loving? No… Are they honorable? What is honorable about the way the main character acts? (Again, I have not read the books, but I did read an overview from another Christian blogger expressing her heartbreak over massive amounts of Christian women reading them). Sorry – I am on a bit of a diatribe, I suppose. But it just breaks my heart to see so many women caught in the lie that these things are OK. And…one more point – I don’t want my husband watching porn. Or my son. Or my daughter. So why would I think it’s OK for me to read it? Anyway…thanks for writing your post! Well written and right on! :)

  10. Judy Blunt says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have heard many “Christian” young ladies and even older women talking about going to this movie and reading this book and in the next breath berate their husband’s wondering eyes or using that to justify watching or reading these. How can we expect our husband’s to remain pure if we don’t? Besides it is not what he does that should direct our behaviors, but our relationship with God. I want to stand pure before my Father which art in heaven and before the Bridegroom who paid the ransom for my soul.

  11. Shelly Burke says:

    I am making a habit of asking myself when I’m reading, surfing the ‘net, watching TV: “Is this good, faithful, pure, etc. and is it helping me in any part of my life?” I think it’s OK to do those activities for “fun” (for example, read a novel that is just a thriller, with no “deep” message) but we need to be very aware of how easily it is for them to draw us away from God and the life He wants for us. “Fifty Shades of Gray”, from all I’ve heard and read, seems like “fun” but draws us away from God, and so do many movies, TV shows, and websites. It’s very easy to get sucked into that…but we need to guard our hearts.

  12. Jennifer Nash says:

    I love this article and truly appreciate it… I think if you feel it is fine to see and read this stuff would you want your husband seeing “Magic Megan” or reading soft porn. We cannot have a double standard in marriage.

  13. Jill says:

    Jill,
    Thank you for your words of wisdom. I have heard a lot about both the movie and the book. I don’t need any fantasy that doesn’t involve my husband, just as I would not want his fantasy’s to be about another woman. Our marriage’s are fragile and satan is all to ready and willing to step between us and cause discord. Why would we willingly give him the ammunition to do it? It’s a slippery slope, slow fade or any other number of phrases to the destruction and death of our families.

  14. Karen says:

    What I read is probably one area that can not be dictated by others. I guess that’s between God and me. I did read the books. I found them to be fun. Is it describing things I would participate in?…no I wouldn’t. But let’s not condemn those of us who find books and/and or movies interesting or amusing just because they are not your cup of tea. I have found the uprightous attitude of many Christians very offensive. I think time is much better spent extolling God’s love than developing a reading list. Let’s all agree on the Absolute Truths and be guided by those. I don’t think God will condemn me to hell for my Kindle contents. But I’m sure there are readers out there who will disagree.

    • Susan says:

      As Christians, we desire to honor God with our lives. When you buy a car, the manufacturer gives you an owner’s manual as to how the car works and how you should take care of it. In the same sense, God has given us an owner’s manual, the Bible, that tells us how He has designed us and how we should live. There is nothing in Scripture that suggest that whatever we read and watch is just fine with God. Actually, it says just the opposite. . . what we read and watch very much influences us for good or for bad. I read your note with great sadness. You are really confused.

      • Karen says:

        I can assure you that my faith is not so tenuous that it would be affected by a novel. I guess if someone’s relationship with God is not mature and stable he/she should avoid controversial literature. You may want to peruse Matthew 7. Be happy.

        • Lisa says:

          Amen! I haven’t read the book (not interested) and won’t see the movie but I am strong enough in my faith to know that I will not change my beliefs, convictions, morals and values simply by what I read or see.

        • Cab6 says:

          You are lying to yourself. You must know this as a Christian.

          • Karen says:

            How dare you! You know nothing about me and I am glad that Jesus does. Your righteous attitude would never win anyone to Christ.

        • nonny says:

          This isn’t about judgement. We are told in the bible to teach and counsel each other in His wisdom. Colossians 3:16

        • Jessica says:

          I find it very amusing how some use one quote from the Bible to make sin seem ok. Filling your mind with filth is sinful and that is very clear in the Bible. Yes, Jesus wants us to be happy, but also to glorify Him with our life. I get really tired of hearing the self-righteous Christian comments too because I am very, very far from that. I have messed up some much in my life that I definitely don’t want to do it on purpose – or at least try not to. You really are lying to yourself, Karen. Pride makes you not want to believe it.

    • Sarah says:

      Seriously?! I am completely blown away by your comment.

      “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. Matthew 5:27-30

  15. Kelli says:

    Thank you so much for such a well-thought out and well-written message on this topic. I agree with you 100%!

  16. Pam says:

    I love your title for this article. Thank you so much for writing it. For those who are defending the book(s) as “amusing” and something they would not ever do, here are three quotes to consider.

    1) “Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
    Watch your words, for they become actions.
    Watch your actions, for they become habits.
    Watch your habits, for they become character.
    Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

    and realize that our sexuality is a much stronger force than many of us give it credit for. If there is any unmet emotional need in your life, Satan has a substitute way to fill it (with a new idol).

    2) Sin will take you further than you want to go.
    It will keep you longer than you want to stay,
    and it will cost you more than you want to pay.

    and

    3) Genesis 39 “Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, 7 and after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, “Come to bed with me!”

    8 But he refused. “With me in charge,” he told her, “my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. 9 No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” 10 And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her.”

    Refuse to “go to bed with or even be with” things that call to you to imagine or do wicked things that are a sin against the Holy One who is zealous for our hearts to be completely His.

  17. Theresa Klumper says:

    Thank you for this article Jill! We have to be courageous and take a stand when we are not the popular opinion. Praise God that what we read or do or say does not in any way affect our salvation because if we are bought and paid for with the blood of Christ, nothing can separate us from that. To me that is precisely why my heart’s desire is to honor Him in all that I do. Including what I read and see. I am convicted to my core that God cares very deeply how we spend our time and what we are exposing ourselves too. The bible says that sin is fun for a season, but we will see the fallout come from this. “There is a way that seems right unto a man but in the end leads to destruction.” We all have many choices everyday, but the mirror we are to use to make the decision is God’s standard, not anything or anyone else’s and we better be checking our own. I do not understand how anyone could honestly say that after consulting our Heavenly Father about this that He would say that it is pleasing and honorable to Him. Maybe that is the part that gets forgotten is asking God what He thinks about what we are considering. Yes, even our media choices.
    I am also very thankful that my husband is more than happy to fulfill any desires I would have as well. We have to be so careful to keep our sexuality purely for our own husband and guard against anything that would come to distract that. Sin doesn’t always start as sin, sometimes it starts as what we would perceive to be harmless fun. That is only because we can’t see where the path leads. Praying for a deep conviction and understanding for all the ladies. God only says no because He can see the dangers we can’t and He loves us enough to protect us, even from ourselves.

  18. Anne says:

    I appreciate your comments about this topic. Having read the books however, I must point out an inaccuracy- there is no extramarital affair. The main characters are both single and end up married to each other.

    Enjoying the discussion.

    • Emily says:

      I don’t think the point was that it was an affair–sex out of marriage can mean sex BEFORE marriage, too. I haven’t read the books, but am assuming that since you said they “end up” married, there is some premarital sex in the books. God designed sex to be something shared by a couple after they are married, not by a couple who intends to be married or might one day end up married!

      • Anne says:

        Emily- The article originally stated, and has since been corrected(thank you!), that the book had extramarital sex in it. If we are going to discuss the book’s contents then we need to do it with the correct information. The book does have premarital sex and is erotica, which then your comment holds true.
        It also brings up a point made further down by another person, if we are offended by this book for premarital sex and erotica, are we also offended by other book, movies and tv shows that display the same characteristics? and if not, why not?

    • Lindsey says:

      I agree with you Anne. I’m not perfect either but this book is more then about “sex” unfourtantely this is what they have used to make the book sell but it is about a couple who do get married and she helps him from a troubled past. If anything she puts her foot down and stands up for what she believes is right. NOT what the world thinks she should do and ultimately changes this mans life…for the good. I’m sad it’s gotten so much negative attention.

  19. Susan says:

    Thanks for writing this, Jill. I am far from perfect, but I’m glad to say I never even heard of whatever book and movie you are talking about. :)

  20. Amy says:

    Thank you for writing this! I agree with you on all of the points above, and also have thought so many times, “How would I feel if my husband wanted to go see a movie like this or read a book with this content?” I would NOT be ok with it, so why should I think it’s ok for me to see it? I have two young boys right now, but if they were older, would I want them to know that I was watching/reading it? How about teenage daughters?

    I know it is “just” a book, and “just” a movie, but as women, we can get emotionally involved. And becoming emotionally involved (possibly wishing that was you in the story, or seeing yourself with that person) is the same sin as actually physically sinning! I am not trying to be “holier than thou”; believe me, I have issues that I deal with on a daily basis. I am a sinner in need of grace. This one is just such a slippery slope that can lead to destruction of a marriage so fast, I just can’t see even the possibility of seeing the movie or reading the books. As one person told me while discussing this, “But this stuff is all over the place.” (as in sexual content). Well, yes, it is, but that doesn’t mean that it’s right and it doesn’t mean it’s ok to do it. We are to be in the world, but not of it.

    1 Corinthians 6:12 (MSG) Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims.

    Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

    In other words, watch over your heart. If your heart is attached to something, your life will be attached to it, too, and your actions may start showing that. My marriage is too important to take that chance, and I am standing up for it.

  21. Charlotte says:

    Ohhhhh Jill!!! EXCELLENT post!! I agree wholeheartedly!! xoxo

  22. Felicia says:

    I really enjoyed this and appreciate it. Just like above commenters, Im in my late 20s and feel like Im the prime target of these books/movies. I have not read the books nor seen the movie and for me the deciding factor, along with feeling convicted not to, was when I asked myself “if the situation were reversed would I be happy with my husband reading something like that or going to see a movie like that?” Since the answer was “no” I decided to show him the same respect I hope he would show to me. I just dont see anything positive that could come from either thing so Ive chosen to forego them both. I have to say though, we really are treading on dangerous ground when we start thinking we are so firm that what we read/watch doesnt really affect us. I find it very sad also that an article like yours cant be written without someone saying we are judging. I feel like as Christian women we should be helping each other and doing so by speaking truth into each others lives and if someone sees a danger ahead, warning the rest of us. Ultimately the decision is between ourselves and God, but that does not mean that we cant give our opinions on what we feel like is the right thing to do, or share what we have been convicted of personally. I just wish people also realized how much criticize those of has have taken for revealing why we choose not to read these books or see the movie and instead of putting us down for sharing our reason, would encourage us because its not very easy to be the only one going against the crowd.

  23. Sue Leither says:

    Amen, Jill. Thanks for putting words to my feelings. I continue to be shocked by the number of women who encourage me to read these books yet I haven’t been able to articulate exactly why I have no desire to read these books. Thanks for giving me those words.

  24. I love this!! Saying no to these kinds of things have changed my life…I no longer stuggle with horrible fantasies that would make me turn 50 shades of red if anyone else knew…it is amazing what this kind of sin can do to your relationship with God! Right on, Jill!!

  25. Tara Parker says:

    Oh how thankful I am for this post. I’ve had a horrible last few days with people telling me I am judgmental and in “legalism”. No denominational legalism but by taking the bible too seriously. These words come to me in response to my lack of interest in books, movies, TV programs, etc. “we might cause a new believer or someone about to be a believer to have hurt feelings or to stumble in their walk” we need to “love”. Again, thank you for this post!

  26. I wouldn’t want my husband watching a movie with half naked women in it with a group of his friends or sitting in the bedroom looking at pornographic magazines which would be comparable to the 50 Shades of Grey. I’m so surprised at the Christian women who are taking part in both of these. Unbelievable! Thank you for sharing, Jill.

    • Lb says:

      Get a grip, you can’t compare reading fifty shades to looking at porn magazines. There is a love story in these books. And as for the movie, it’s just a movie. I’m secure in my marriage and my husband and I trust each other, a movie or book doesnt change that. If everybody on this blog is so christian then why are they judging. Get over it

  27. Amy says:

    I put this on my facebook page several weeks ago because so many of my friends or people I know is reading the book or going to the movie now. I will not be doing either and it’s for the simple fact that I respect my husband. I do not want him watching porn or staring at other women and I will give him the same respect by not participating in these books or movie. I don’t think bad of anyone that will do this, it’s just something that I don’t feel God wants to fill my mind. Stay blessed.

  28. Lisa R. says:

    I was recently watching a Dr. Oz show and one woman asked why she was having sex dreams about other men when she really loves her husband and didn’t think she’d ever do anything wrong. Dr. Oz gave her 3 guesses as to why psychologists think that happens…1) husband didn’t take out the garbage (ie. do something wife thought he should be doing), 2) wife might really be wishing for extramarital sex, or 3) wife was indulging in too much wine and chocolate. Well the answer they believe is #1; that women may start having sex dreams if they are discontent about something (anything…doesn’t just have to be sexually related) that they think their husband is not doing.
    I believe this relates here, like Jill and others have said, our husbands should be the only ones fulfilling our sexual desires and if he isn’t is there something we need to communicate with him? First examine ourselves; what are our expectations of our husbands and are they reasonable and have we communicated with him about these? If we have too many expectations, are we expecting too much and should we calm down? Do we communicate our needs gently, guys aren’t always mind readers and also get very frustrated with nagging. Anything we wives think is wrong in our husbands could lead to discontent in any area of our marriage. Now this discontent coupled with putting these outside sexual images in our brains could really lead us astray. Let’s face it, we all have seasons of discontent (or sometimes just pms) , but we need the Lord and His purity, peace and gentleness more than ever at these times, not the world’s advice to go escape into a fantasy novel, movie or drink. We need to keep ourselves fixed on Jesus, praying always for ourselves and our husbands and children. And then we need to let our husbands lead our households as we pray God’s wisdom into his heart. God bless you all!

  29. Renee says:

    All I want to say to all of you who choose to judge without actually reading the books are just as guilty as those of us who have chosen to read the books! Number one, you can not pass judgement on something that you know nothing about! These books have absolutely nothing to do with extramarital affairs! This is simply a story of two young people who fall in love with a lot of complicated issues on the side. It just happens to take us behind the bedroom doors. Shame on all of you for judging without knowing what you are judging! Number two, from all my Christian teachings, only God is allowed to judge. So tell me? Who made all of you God?

    • Wendy says:

      While God is the only judge, we are called as Christians to keep our brothers and sisters in Christ accountable. If your sister were having an affair, would you not encourage her to stop and repent? As Christians, THAT is what we are called to do. We do no our fellow Christians, continue past a road that can derail their faith. This book promotes adultery (ie premarital sex). My husband refers to sex with his parishoners (he is a pastor) as an “act of marriage.” We have made sex too causual and “okay” in our postmodern world. It is hard to follow the commands of God ( I fail daily. Thank goodness, He did all the work on the cross for me – and you.) when the world is telling you otherwise. So, back to the point. I don’t think others are judging, just keeping other Christians and women accountable. Everything we do affects our faith. What we watch on TV. What we read. Even the music that we listen to – all affect our faith walk. This book as no positive impact on the life of a Christian woman or her faith.

    • Karen says:

      Thank you for expressing your opinion. As I mentioned before there should not be disagreement on Absolute Truths but we may disagree on other issues as we strive to be better Christians.

  30. Heather says:

    Thanks for the encouragement Jill. I admit wondering, “Could it really do THAT much harm?” I know no one wants to appear judgemental. So let’s not. I do not make the decisions about what is appropriate within the Christian life, God does. He judges the hearts of men. And, he has communicated His desires for us to live a life worthy of the calling He has given so much for. We are bound by Christian love to “spur one another on to good works”, to encourage one another in our Christian walk, to be ready to give a “reason for the hope within” to unbelievers. May our witness to one another and the world be one that makes it clear we are children of God with all the rights and priviledges of His kingdom, and one that welcomes others to enjoy it with us. Thanks for dancing with this particular “porcupine”.

  31. Korey says:

    Dear sisters in Jesus,
    I won’t be telling anyone what I think she should/shouldn’t read. Her relationship with Jesus should be enough to impact her conscience to that affect. God doesn’t need Jill to do that for Him. She will have to hold account to Him for the way she addresses this issue, as will I for my response.
    What I do want to share, though, is what God has taught me recently about obedience. I am a slow learner, but He is teaching me more and more that as I submit myself to His will in obedience to His Word, I experience blessing in my life and in my relationship with Him. When I choose to do things my way (disobey) instead of heeding His Word, I inhibit myself from the blessings He wishes to give. (and I’m not talking materialistic/wordly blessings.)
    I believe God is using Matthew 7 (not just the section on judging others, but also the narrow gate and wise/foolish builders) along with the context of 1 Cor 6:12 “Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial” to speak to me on this issue.
    I know my obedience will not earn me entrance to heaven, just as my disobedience will no longer condemn me to hell because of my Jesus’ sacrifice. But I want and hope that my life will bring honor and glory to Jesus before He takes me home. I miserably fail at that pursuit daily. Praise be to God that when I meet Him, Jesus will be standing next to me, covering me in HIS perfect obedience and righteousness. My prayer for each of us is expressed by St Paul in Philipians 3
    10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

    Pressing on Toward the Goal

    12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

    15 All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

    Ladies, I pray God will make clear to you what His will is on this issue regardless of any posts you may read on this blog. And that we will experience the power of His resurrection every time He enables us to say no to ourselves and submit our lives to His will and Word. May we a;; experience His peace as we reflect on this and many other difficult issues we face in this world.

    • Sandi Haustein says:

      I understand what you mean about individual believers answering to God and their consciences, but at the same time, I think God uses us to sharpen one another. If our relationship with God was only to be vertical, then we wouldn’t have need for community, and yet, He put us in community, as a church, for a purpose. We need each other — for encouragement, for unity, and yes, sometimes for confrontation and correction. So I appreciate Jill for taking a stand — maybe God is convicting her to speak out because she is a leader and mentor to many women who will at least have more discernment as they’re faced with decisions about what to read or watch.

      • Korey says:

        Sandi –
        I completely agree with you! In fact I often think we westerners miss out on the community of Christianity because of the high value we place on individualism.

        I did not mean for my comment to come across as a judgment on Jill, and my deep apologies if it sounded that way. (That’s the trouble with this sort of communication.) I meant it in her defense because of the reactions of some who accused her of “judging others” by her comments. Since it is ultimately God’s judgment of us that we should be concerned about we shouldn’t feel we need to answer to man. So it really isn’t necessary to defend ourselves to one another.

        Perhaps I should have stated my point this way: If reading Jill’s comments causes a reaction of defensiveness in you, double check your reaction with God. Ask HIM what HE thinks about the matter. Let’s all be more concerned with what God thinks than even what our Christian brothers and sisters think. HOWEVER, as you stated, God does give us one another to sharpen, encourage, comfort, etc.

        Thank you for sharing your heart about our faith needing to be not only a vertical relationship. Again, I whole-heartedly agree! I guess I was more trying to address the way in which we respond to each other without judging anyone for the positions they took on the book and movie.

  32. April says:

    I have yet to read the books or watch the movie and have had to face the pressure of others talking about wanting to see them or read them. I kindly change the subject. Quite frankly I see it as trash. I’m ashamed that we, as Ladies, Mothers, Daughters and Sisters have turned into acting like a bunch of misguided teenage boys. There’s a huge epidemic going on. You can clearly see the decline of our faith, values, principals both inside and outside of the Christian world. I fear of having the TV on while my young kids are around. Our teenagers are facing more pregnancies, STD’s, etc., than ever. This should tell us something. Where are we as Ladies, Mothers, Daughters and Sisters setting the example, guiding and leading?

  33. Katie Espigh says:

    Thank you for writing this! I am helping to research the topic of women who are sexually addicted. It’s AMAZING how much of a problem this is for women. 50 Shades of Gray is porn. Plain and simple. Ladies, don’t open that door. DON’T DO IT. It will ruin your life.
    Be anti-culture and take a stand for what is godly and right.

  34. Katie Brown says:

    I just can’t shake the fact that the many of the actors and actresses in these kinds of movies are MARRIED. And they aren’t saved and the reality is that they are going to be standing in judgement. I used to be more laid-back about this kind of stuff, but any more I can’t delight in or be entertained by other people’s sins-whether they are “pretending” or not. God really sees this stuff. I don’t know what Jesus would do. He did hang out with all sorts of people, BUT the topic of conversation was always their hearts and who he was… Does God judge us for what’s on our kindle? We are forgiven in Christ. But where is the scripture that says He doesn’t care? And not just about how our faith is our isn’t affected, but about everyone else involved-the author, the actors, the non-believers who are embracing these lifestyles? And are we held accountable for our time?
    God, give us your eyes to sort this stuff out!!! We don’t want to isolate ourselves and become irrelevant, but we do not want to “okay” or participate in sin when we have a chance to stand up for You!

  35. Kim says:

    I have seen this debate on so many blogs, and am still surprised that there is even a debate. This verse came to mind…
    Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it.” Remember our “heart” is our thoughts, our motives, and our choices. It is so easy for us to lie to ourselves about what we are doing. You may think that reading that one book is not going to change you, but it did if only a little. What about the next one in the series? Or the next “erotica” novel you will read because the first one didn’t make a difference? Each and every time you have taken a piece of yourself that belonged to God and given it away. Please don’t tell me that doesn’t change you or make a difference. Over time it does.

    As I looked up the reference to make sure I had it right I read the next verse…
    Jeremiah 17:10 “I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.”
    It doesn’t really matter what I think, but it does matter what God thinks. He knows your heart even when you don’t.

    Please don’t take this as judgmental. We all have something were our heart is deceitful. For some it’s this book or books like it, some movies, some it’s TV or internet, and the list goes on and on. We ALL need to remember our hearts are deceitful, and lay it before our Heavenly Father to help us. He wants nothing more than for us to call out to Him, so he can draw us close to Him.

  36. Malia says:

    I have, unfortunately, read the first book. I will not be reading the others. Nor will I disrespect my husband by going to see a movie about male strippers.

    Aside from the disgusting sexual content, this book is also dangerous. How many women will read this book and think that maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to let a man abuse you? Thanks for your article.

  37. Laura says:

    This blog touches just the tip of the iceberg. There are so many things that we and our children don’t need to be watching – “kid shows” on Cartoon Network or Nick that encourage screaming, whining, entitlement; and they encourage a lack of curiosity and creativity. How often do these shows encourage our kids to look something up, to ask thoughtful questions or read a good book? What about “Adult shows” like CSI or Gossip Girl that show violence, murder, betrayal, greed, sex, robbery, or a need to be filthy rich? How about the news or Hollywood gossip? They sensationalize bad things that are happening like bizarre murders or robberies and make big corporations’ stealing from the common citizen sound ok. They make desirable having a huge wardrobe, expensive purses and shoes. What about commercials that make us and our kids want those things that we don’t need (processed foods, plastic toys, etc) or make us want pharmaceuticals that our bodies don’t need?
    All of this is a big problem. While I have the ability to distinguish between right and wrong and often make choices not to watch or read these things because of their lack of integrity, we have to be so careful about what our children see! I’m happy with my life and none of those things would make me envious or have a desire for a different life or a different partner. I don’t worry about watching/reading them because they might influence me in the wrong direction or that they might make me compare my life to something else or someone else’s. We must remember that some things are good to read or watch for the lessons learned and for their ability to make us think, compare and analyze. We have the ability to choose which of those things are worthwhile to read or watch and if they’re not, we (individually, and our friends and family) can remind ourselves what reality is. Children, however, need us to help them until they are able to make that distinction on their own.

  38. Kristi says:

    Well said! Christians have become desensitized to this type of entertainment. If we continue to compromise, looking and acingt as the world does, how do we look any different than the world? We are representatives of Christ on this earth. In the past six months I have been watching less and less television simply because of time issues. When I have turned it on, I have sometimes been shocked by what I have seen and heard. When we have that in our lives everyday, we get so accustomed to it that we think nothing of it. Thank you for taking a stand.

  39. JH says:

    I’m very interested in all of these responses and really trying to understand where the majority of you are coming from. Can you ladies please clarify what *exactly* it is about the book (I haven’t heard of the movie) that you are adamantly against? From what I understand the couple in the books are consenting single adults in an exclusive committed relationship. Is it the pre-marital sex in the book? If the answer is yes do you also write comments and banish movies like Titanic? or the tv show Friends? I’m not mocking or anything malicious…just really trying to figure out where the line is drawn in your personal journey. Maybe it’s just that: personal choice…this book no, that movie yes and so on. And IMO if a poorly written, plot lacking novel like 50 shades of grey is enough to “lead you astray” in your marriage I think your marriage was already in danger.

    • JillSavage says:

      JH, the book is basically an X-rated movie in book form. It’s pornography–which usually gets labeled as a man’s issue, but women are drawn to it too, especially when it’s wrapped in an emotional story.

      Your question about feeling the same way watching the movie “Titanic” or the television show “Friends” is right on. Those should bother us and we should be this discerning about everything we see and read.

  40. Forgotten in Decatur says:

    I am a woman in what Dr. Leman calls the 15% club. I am married to a man that has no interest in sex. He LITERALLY has not touched me in almost 2.5 years. So yes, I did go see Magic Mike with some friends. I won’t pretend that I think it was “right” to do so, but I did it anyway.

    It’s very lonely being the ONLY person I know whose husband doesn’t want her. All my friends “complain” that their husbands want sex all the time. Even in the parking lot after the movie, I heard several women complaining this way. And I just stood there thinking how undesirable I must be.

    OK, pity party over. Just know that there are women who WANT to have intimacy with their husbands, but can’t.

    • JillSavage says:

      Forgotten, I am so sorry. What you are experiencing in your marriage is so painful and my heart hurts for you. Please don’t view this as you being undesirable. This issue is about your husband, don’t make it about you. I know that’s so hard to do because our sexuality is so personal to us, but this is a spiritual battle I want to encourage you to fight. Satan wants you to think this is about you because he wants to steal your self-worth and identity. Stand firm, pray for your husband, and encourage him to get the help he needs to unpack whatever baggage he’s carrying that’s keeping him from enjoying this part of marriage. You are a beautiful woman…I can tell that from the words you wrote. Believe that.

    • Whitney says:

      I am so sorry for your pain! My first marriage was like that. He wanted nothing to do with me and the rare times he did it was borderline abusive. Our marriage fell apart for many reasons, not just the sex issue.

      Now that I am remarried I have fought to realize that it had nothing to do with me. I still get paranoid and hurt when my husband sweetly turns me down. The feelings of being unworthy and such try and resurface- but do not let them. This is something that you should work on with him. We are sexual creatures. Some have a higher drive than others but sex is very important.

      I feel your pain. If you ever need anyone to talk to, please email me. I put my blog up- not trying to get readers but so you have a way to contact me. I have been there.

  41. David James says:

    It’s woman porn. You can say it.

  42. Debbie says:

    I often feel like I am the only wife/mom/woman that thinks about the “junk food” that most people eat and feed their kids daily. I am grateful to you, Jill. I often use your analogy of purity represented by a pie or a cake. Thank you for being the light of Christ in this dark world. You have changed my life and the lives of my husband and children.

  43. Renee says:

    I could not agree more with everything you said! It’s so true that yesterday’s porn are today’s advertisements and we are bombarded daily with these images. As Christian women we should be promoting purity. I would never be ok with my husband (or sons and daughters) watching or reading porn an so why would I as a wife do it and set that kind of example for my family?! We need to be the women of proverbs 31 and be women of substance. My husband is more than happy to to have my full attention about sex and he deserves it as my husband. I certainly wan his full attention in that area! What goes in is what comes out ladies.

  44. Leslii says:

    Thank you for this post, Jill! I completely agree with you.

  45. Ann C. says:

    For something that was not supposed to be a “judgmental issue,” I am so disappointed in the preaching going on in this comment thread! It is no one’s business except God’s what we do with our minds. If there were no such thing as a harmless fantasy, then faces like Channing Tatum and Matthew M. would not be gracing our screens. It’s only one form of entertainment in life. It’s up to us to enjoy those things properly. If you are tempted, then you must face that with God. God programmed our brains to feel love, sexual emotions, curiosity. As for referring to regular TV shows like Friends as another problem, that was over the top. If you are ashamed at movies like Magic Mike then don’t go to them! They are funny, unrealistic movies. I am unsure if I will read the 50 series but if I do, I will keep that to myself. I don’t think women should be sharing their private preferences with others. As for turning from Christ’s Word, all of you are doing just that with your judgmental, condescending comments. I am strong enough in my faith that I know that God will probably forgive trashy reading, (as well as my husband who is the only man I am enjoying in my life), just as he will forgive those that gossip (a sin) and judge (a sin). If you choose not to read or watch that kind of material, then more power to you as well! It’s your right as a Christian to do so.

  46. lisa simmons says:

    I had no idea what Magic Mike was… I thought Mike Tyson was going back in the ring or something, but I kept seeing it pop up on FB so I googled it…First I couldn’t believe women were so enthralled with this, but I was more appalled that MARRIED women with whom I attend Bible studies, church were just as enthralled…Then I kept seeing the 50 shades of gray thing…again…clueless…my daughter (20)http://allie-simmons.blogspot.com/ asked me if I had heard of it and told me what it was about (apparently it’s also all the rage with the single 20somethings) She and I both found it incredulous that Christians…I mean serious Christians (or at least in appearance) were totally reading/watching this trash… I know I sound judgmental and that’s sooooo politically incorrect these days, but aren’t we to exhort our sisters…Hey we all sin and fall short of the Glory of God…absolutely, but to consciously just go ahead and let ourselves get sucked in to such obvious ungodly media, is 50 shades of wrong…”Everything is permissible for me”–but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”–but I will not be mastered by anything.”1Corinthians 6:12′

  47. Gussie says:

    Thank you Jill. I really am pretty clueless about the books and the movie. I am struck by those who are commenting here about you writing your “opinions” …. They are not … God commands us to stay away from things like these. There is a huge difference between a person’s opinion and God’s commands. You did a great job of backing up what you said with scripture. In my mind, as it should be, scripture can not be argued with. If God said it … that’s it, end of discussion.

  48. lauri says:

    um…if you haven’t read the book or seen the move, how can you call them “junk food for the mind”?

    • JillSavage says:

      Lauri, I don’t have to see a movie about male strippers to know that it is something I don’t need to see. I read the book reviews or the summary on Amazon to determine the book content and I view the movie trailers or read movie reviews to know the content of the movies to determine if it’s good for my mind and heart. It’s no different than reading the nutritional labels on food to know the content and determine whether it’s good for me or not.

    • Amy says:

      Um, well, see just like we look at the ingredients of junk food to determine we don’t want to eat it we can look at movie descriptions and trailers to determine we don’t want to watch it. We don’t eat a whole bag of greasy chips, knowing the ingredients, only to “discover” we probably shouldn’t have eaten them. This is silly. Why would you watch a whole movie or read a whole book to determine it’s not a good idea to have done so?

  49. Tami says:

    I read the 50 Shades books (all three). I did not like nor understand the abuse part of the books but I learned a lot from them. My parents did not talk to me about sex. I actually got the idea that sex is not that great of a thing (not told directly by my parents- but through their relationship. They were a “well know”couple in my church growing up). Growing up I was a “risk taker” and a curious child. I would have benefited from a “sex talk” from my parents to understand the real reason behind it (to show love to your spouse and to enjoy- it feels really good). I grew up in “the church” but never really grasped the concept that sex (in the marriage aspect) is GREAT. I grew up thinking that sex is something you do when you are married but it’s not really fun, exciting, freeing, silly, good ect…………. (There are other things in my childhood that made me think sex was “not good”- never physical abuse- more verbal- but I don’t need to share those details). So, when I read the 50 Shades books- they helped me see that sex is fun, exciting, freeing, silly, good ect……… The behind the doors aspect that the author writes (sometimes a bit too detailed for my taste) helped me understand that sex is GREAT. And to be ok with the feelings of sex- that they are good feelings that I too can enjoy. I thought the “good” feelings before were something I either didn’t deserve or were wrong. I would not recommend this book to everyone- but I would- if asked- give my opinion…………. to read with caution. Keep an open mind, keep your morals and remember- it is just a book and only a book with fictional characters created by a woman. I want to reiterate what some of these comments above read- don’t judge, don’t judge, don’t judge.

    • JillSavage says:

      Tami, I also grew up thinking that sex was something you tolerated. It’s taken a long time for me to get to where I understand and believe that it’s great, exciting, and an opportunity to have some fun right in my own house! There are some great books out there that can continue to help you on your journey to better understand that. I found Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow helpful. Also No More Headaches by Dr. Julianna Slattery. I also wrote a book called Is There Really Sex After Kids?” that can be helpful. One last one is A Celebration of Sex by Douglas Rosenau. I think you’ll find any of those to be great books to help you on your journey!

  50. Sue Huston McWhorter says:

    Exellent article JIll, I whole heartedly agree! I spent a weekend recently with some of my favorite cousins and a couple are currently reading the book series. They quickly assured me it’s not a book I would want to read, which I found interesting :-)
    Thanks Jill for sharing wisdom from your and Mark’s experience and God’s Word to shed light on this issue. Having had loved ones who have struggled with pornography in the past, I know this is a very real issue! I love the comparison to healthy foods and what we put into our body, to what we put into our mind. Years ago, I also struggled with reading “love” novels and found that they hindered my Christian walk and thoughts. Once I made the decision to stop reading them, I found my thoughts were “healthier” and I had more peace and joy in my life. If God didn’t think this was so important, why did He have specific scriptures on it? Phillipians 4:8 and 9 have encouraged me so many times through the years…
    Forgotten, I can relate to you — years ago, my husband wasn’t interested in sex even though we were both relatively young. It’s taken years of prayer and growth, but our sex life is better than ever, just like we were honeymooners. Like Jill said, keep praying for your husband and get help for him – or – both of you so you can enjoy the type of marriage God intended for you.

  51. kristin says:

    Amen.

    I haven’t read them either, but God has been speaking to my heart so much about being intentional about what my family (especially my kids) watch and hear. I had to tell our best friends that my kids (5 and 2 years) couldn’t watch “Big Miracle,” a PG-rated movie billed as a great family movie, because Plugged In listed multiple curse words in the movie.

    Sometimes I seem old-fashioned with where I draw our boundaries, but I’m thankful I’m not alone. Thanks for reminding me of that.

  52. Tina says:

    I have read some of the comments and I see both sides. I have not seen the movie, but want to. I have however, read the books. Everyone is assuming that material like this will cause strife in a marriage. IF your marriage and your faith is strong nothing as simple as a book can come between it. If it does, there were already some problems. The only thing I want to point out is: everyone is assuming that this will tear down a marriage. But no one has said, what if the woman, thinks of her husband–and the marriage becomes stronger? It can happen, because it does to me all the time. I read a book and I am like HONEY, come here. So, there is yet another side. Take what the devil hands you and REALLY make him mad!

  53. I would never condemn or judge another person for reading 50 Shades or seeing Magic Mike. But I will NOT be reading/seeing them either. And I would expect my friends to respect that. I do not believe it is right to fill our minds with lust for someone that is not our husband. Rather than argue/condemn/judge, I would hope that my actions and reasons for not reading & seeing this book & movie would speak to those around me!

  54. Mandie K says:

    Hahaha. I love “magic mark”. Such a great way to look at it. :-)

  55. sue says:

    Jill,
    I respect your opinion, and wow the responses it has sparked. I have read the 1st book, and now on the 2nd..porn..really? maybe I don’t quite understand porn. I am a christian with great concerns about our country and how God is being taken out of everything, but to say a book or movie is harming your marriage or giving you ideas to sin is really pretty judgmental. I have lots of trouble with movies and books with all the violence, the pg13 movies that our teens are seeing. My husband and i were seperated about 10 years ago, for a few years, but with God by our sides, we reconciled, so I can’t even imagine thinking that a book or movie could have those effects on someone.If they do, then you have more problems.

  56. Lindsey says:

    Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, fortunately, I am mature enough not to be persuaded by a fictional novel or movie. Long live literary freedom! As we are all good Christians I’m sure… There is only one who can judge us all. It comes to mind that there was a man in 1940’s Germany that liked to pass judgement on books,but let’s be honest, Fifty Sshades of Grey and Magic Mike can’t even compare to such classics as Brave New World and Catcher in the Rye… Oops, those had sexual content too. If you are so insecure in your own life that you can’t even read a harmless book, then don’t… Because your morale compass must be spinning out of control.

    • Susan T says:

      Followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, who read His Word, know that He has an opinion which surpasses ours. And He has said via the Holy Spirit to His disciples, such as Paul, just what following Him looks like. And if we want to know what He truly thinks and says, we must read His Word. As someone said elsewhere, it would be foolish not to read His instruction manual. In Colossians 3 are the rules for Holy Living- 1″Since then you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God(the judgement seat). 2)Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God… 5) Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6)Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7)You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived, 8)but now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips. 9) Do not lie to each other since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10) and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator…
      Combine this with Psalm 1 “Blessed is the one who does not walk in the counsel of the ungodly, or stand in the way of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers, but his delight is the law of the Lord and on this law he meditates day and night…. I understand this to mean that the walking, standing, and sitting above are equal with supporting and doing ungodly things in one’s thoughts as well and that it is a mockery to our God to NOT speak up about immoral activity that we find ourselves in the midst of. Let us face what we have done wrong head on and confess it to God. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Rom 3:23 “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans “5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
      What is the application then? What would happen if His followers read His Word as quickly as we pick up various novels? What if we couldn’t wait to read His Word again and didn’t want to stop to do our daily tasks? What if at times, we stayed up all night reading His Word instead of reading novels?

  57. Thank you so much for saying this. I agree with you and I feel in my circle I may be the only one. I am considered old fashioned I’m sure, which I choose to take as a compliment, even if it’s not meant to be one. My young son doesn’t even know half of the shows his friends do and I’m happy about that.

    I believe our lives directly reflect what we fill our minds and hearts with. I see people I know complain about all the bad things in the world today and how horrible their lives are, then go on to watch these hideous reality shows and read trash and lies in print. They condemn the people they watch on TV and read about, but I have to ask, why do they even waste their time looking at that stuff? I just don’t understand it.

    I think if you don’t want evil, bad and trash in your life and your children’s lives, then stop allowing it into your homes and into your minds. I’m not saying we should stick our heads in the sand when bad things are going on, but I feel we should be selective on what we focus our attention on and what we expose our children to.

    So thank you for saying this in your article. It’s nice to know we are not alone.

  58. Wani says:

    Thanks for sharing on this topic! I reference your post in mine on the same subject: http://wanibug.blogspot.com/2012/07/magic-in-marriage.html

  59. Susan T says:

    Followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, who read His Word, know that He has an opinion which surpasses ours. And He has said via the Holy Spirit to His disciples, such as Paul, just what following Him looks like. In Colossians 3 are the rules for Holy Living- 1″Since then you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God(the judgement seat). 2)Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God… 5) Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6)Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7)You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived, 8)but now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips. 9) Do not lie to each other since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10) and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator…
    Combine this with Psalm 1 “Blessed is the one who does not walk in the counsel of the ungodly, or stand in the way of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers, but his delight is the law of the Lord and on this law he meditates day and night…. I understand this to mean that the walking, standing, and sitting above are equal with supporting and doing ungodly things in one’s thoughts as well and that it is a mockery to our God to NOT speak up about immoral activity that we find ourselves in the midst of. Let us face what we have done wrong head on and confess it to God. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Rom 3:23 “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans “5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
    What is the application then? What would happen if His followers read His Word as quickly as we pick up various novels? What if we couldn’t wait to read His Word again and didn’t want to stop to do our daily tasks? What if at times, we stayed up all night reading His Word instead of reading novels?

  60. Gina says:

    The thing that frustrates me is that 50 shades and magic mike are pure FANTASY…it is not real, it is not tangible…sometimes it is just fun to get lost in a fantasy world…just like reading Harry Potter or any other book for that matter…even the Chronicles of Narnia, which are based on Christian values/faith, is a FANTASY world….are we not to enjoy anything that is beyond the tangible? It is for fun and enjoyment…it definitely doesn’t make me want to run out and cheat on my husband…I love my husband and only want to be with him, but a little fantasy and a little excitement in my life makes me a better person and a better wife and mother…if reading 50 shades and watching Magic Mike causes you to want to run out and leave your husband then you have bigger issues that go beyond watching a guy with his shirt off shaking his butt..I appreciate God’s creation but I don’t covet it…

  61. Sara M. says:

    I grew up in a very strict church where many of us had no TV’s, didn’t go to movies, didn’t dance, and spent our weekends with our youth groups–yet there was a nice percentage of people who “had” to get married because they were pregnant. That doesn’t include the number who were having sex – just didn’t get pregnant…my point…you can try to keep your kids from everything out here but ultimately it is the individual person and their individual relationship with God that will dictate their lives. If you read Fifty shades and were still able to spend time with God and not feel guilty then ok..if you felt guilty…don’t—-remember it is a personal relationship. A little fyi – the main character in fifty shades name is “Christian”.

  62. Teresa M says:

    Jill I loved your post. I think that it is sad that we have went from what the Bible says is right and wrong and turned it into a grey area. This really shouldnt even be a debate. I believe that there are enough good clean Christian movies and books available to entertain us that we shouldnt need to turn towards such trash.

  63. We can argue the “strength of our faith” till the cows come home, it’s an argument that has been waged forever, just over different issues. What grieves me is the way we are handling these taboo topics as entertainment. Yes, what is a stumbling block for one, might not be for another.

    But, as christians how do we reach out to those who are experiencing these situations and circumstances in real life when we are “entertained” by their experiences. I sat in a theatre and watch the trailer for Hunger Games, much to my horror. I couldn’t help but immediately think of the stories coming out of africa that tell of children being kidnapped and forced to join militia guerilla armies and fight. Images of children with machine guns and weapons. And yet here we are in the safety and comfort of our country being entertained by a storyline similar to the horror of real life for another human being. We are “entertained” by 50 shades of grey, where the character is an abuse survivor and we see the tragic consequences in his life because of the abuse. It’s entertaining for us, but it is real life for countless others. In the wake of the Penn State scandal when we appropriately punish those who knew and did nothing, how can we assume that we would behave any differently when we are entertained by similar material. Would we watch a fictionalized version of the Penn State scandal and call it entertainment, yet the real life horror that has been inflicted on the victims, their families and loved ones are all too real. We become desinsitized that these fictionalized entertaining movies and novels are some ones real life. Some one who needs the healing power of their Savior Jesus Christ in their life. And we, the one’s with the Truth are far less apt to see the gravity of their situation when we are entertained by similar fictionalized stories.

    When we are entertained by the Hunger Games and similar entertainment will we be as sensitive to the Holy Spirit and spurred to support orphanages and missionaries, and relief agencies that rescue the child soldier? Will we be as horrified?