Four Words No Woman Wants to Hear: You Have Breast Cancer

Last week I heard those four words and my heart stopped.

After an abnormal routine mammogram, followed by an abnormal sonogram, my doctor ordered a biopsy. I had the biopsy the Monday after the North Central Hearts at Home conference and less than 48 hours later, I received the phone call that delivered those four words.

I was actually driving to the Hearts at Home office the morning the doctor’s office called.  When the nurse said, “Jill, are you home or at work?” I knew what she was going to tell me.  When I told her I was in the car alone, I asked her to please tell me what she needed to tell me and she uttered the words no woman wants to hear.

I turned the car around and headed back toward home with my head and heart spinning. What does one do when she is told she has breast cancer?  Well I can tell you what I did: I cried. 

One of my dearest friends is a Nurse Practitioner turned stay-at-home mom. She lives near my house and honestly my car just drove there; at this point I wasn’t thinking. When Crystal greeted me at the door, my tears spoke a million words. From there I called Mark and he left work and came straight home.

The remainder of my day and week was filled with appointments and learning as much as possible about my kind of breast cancer. Emotions slowly were now being replaced with knowledge and facts and Mark and I are now focused on the reality of a new normal.  

Oh the emotions are still there. They tend to come in waves at the most unexpected times…but that’s okay.  When life is hard we have to allow ourselves to grieve.

At this point it looks like I’m a good candidate for a lumpectomy and radiation.  We will know more in the weeks to come.

Telling my family was very hard. Each one handled the news differently. For my two sisters and my two daughters, the news took on a more personal impact.  My mom, my maternal aunt, and my maternal grandmother have all had breast cancer so my sisters and my daughters and I have always known that the genetics were not in our favor. My diagnosis has made that even more real.

I have an incredible team here at Hearts at Home that will take care of me and continue to take care of you.  I’m planning on being at both of our 2014 Hearts at Home conferences, too. I will continue to blog, sharing honestly as you know I do.

Thank you in advance for praying for my family and I as we walk this journey–one that many other women have walked before me.

We’re still waiting for some test results to determine my treatment plan. There are still unknown factors.  But I’m trusting my unknown future to a known God. 115086690He is Able. He is Peace. He is Hope.

Here’s what I know for sure: My circumstances have changed, but my God hasn’t changed.

My hope is in Him.

My trust is in Him.

It is not well with my circumstances, but I can assure you, it is well with my soul.


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102 thoughts on “Four Words No Woman Wants to Hear: You Have Breast Cancer

  1. Wow, Jill. I sure wasn’t expecting to read that this morning. What a whirlwind your mind must be in! Praying for peace above all and that God will reveal Himself to you in new ways.

  2. Dear Jill , I am so sorry for this trial for you and your family. I have never heard those words before; I cannot imagine what you are experiencing. Thank you again for sharing with us another part of your daily faith walk. I am praying for you! Love, Lynn

  3. Jill, I am, and will continue, to be praying for you. You have been a big encouragement to me (and therefore my family). And now I will do what little I can for you, and that is pray, just as I did a few years ago when you walked another dark road. May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you, and give you His peace. May He guide the doctors, and may He heal you.

  4. You have encouraged me the last 2 yrs at Hearts at Home, not to mention the thousands of other women. It is our turn to encourage you!! I will be praying for you and you will get through this! Lot’s of love!!

  5. Jill,
    My name is Bonnie and I met you in Illinois and at the dinner for Hearts at Home. My heart has been full with you and your family following this news. Two years ago I heard those same four words, and I know too well the range of emotions you are speaking about for you and those you love. I know our meeting was been purposed for this particular moment so that I can carry all of you (with a heart that understands), face down, to Jesus. You have been given many, many women to fight this battle in prayer and I want you to know that you can count on one more warrior on your behalf. Carrying you with me, Bonnie

  6. Oh, Jill. You are so loved, and supported, and lifted up and encouraged right now. I know the peace of God is with you. God bless you and your family, now more than ever. We will pray for you this morning at church.

  7. Jill, I’m so sorry to hear this news. Praying for God’s comfort and love to sustain you and your family on this journey ahead.

  8. Prayers for comfort. Be a 2013 Job. He will not give you more than you can handle with His help. Cancer is not a mistake. ….all things to His glory.

  9. Dear sweet Jill,
    I am so sorry that you had to hear those words. You are one of the strongest women I know. Just as you have been a shining light to thousands of wives and mothers regarding family life and parenting, I am confident that you will do the same with this challenge placed before you. “I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work (even when it doesn’t look like a good work) in you, will PERFECT it until the day of Jesus Christ!” Praying for you sweetie! We love you!

  10. Praying for a full recovery for you Jill! Thank you for all the encouragement you have given us moms over the years. Now, it’s time for us to hold you up and encourage you! ((Hugs))

  11. Jill, I can’t imagine what it would be like to hear those words. Since I can’t seem to find the right words, I will pray for you. For GOD’s timing and provision over everything. So thankful for you, and for the lives of the millions of mom’s that you have changed by your vision. So thankful that you have gone above and beyond of what you were called to do. Thank you from the deepest part of my heart, in showing me through Hearts at Home, just how to be the wife and mother I am called to be. Thank you for being such an amazing testament of a GOD honoring woman should be.

    Many prayers being sent for you,
    Heather Foote
    Mama to 5 amazing blessings

  12. Jill I will certainly lift you and your whole family & your doctors up in prayer as you move forward with treatment and as you continue to wrap your minds & lives around this diagnosis.
    I would love to send you a book written by a friend of mine, Jen Smith, about her battle with breast cancer…if you would be interested. God has used Jen’s story to inspire many people & I think you might also find some comfort & inspiration in how God may use this in your life too.
    If you haven’t heard of Jen Smith yet & would like to have her book to read I’d be happy to get you copy. Here is a link to her website:

  13. Whew! And I thought my circumstances were overwhelming! God bless you Jill for your transparency in everything. I am truly blessed to be your friend. I know you have a great support system, but if ever you need anything please don’t hesitate to call. Praying for you and your family in this difficult time. I love you.

  14. Jill

    Thank you so much for sharing what is on your heart with us each and every day! I am sure that this will not be different. I will be praying for you and your family and the rest of the team at Hearts at Home. I know at times it will be difficult……but like you said you have a Known God that will help you through the unknown times! Thanks for encouraging us and now we can encourage you!
    Praying Daily! Melanie

  15. Oh Jill. I am so very sorry. You have given hope and help to thousands and thousands of Moms in the trenches. I hate that you will now get expertise in this area, but I am grateful that you will lead well, lovingly and wisely those women who battle this disease with you and those who will battle it after you. I, and the rest of the P31 team, will pray for you.

  16. Praying for you this morning, Jill… and will continue to pray along this journey with you. There is so much cancer cannot do. Sending up prayers for peace in your heart… and for God to amplify your knowledge of his unending love for you!

  17. Praying for you….we are in the same boat but with my husband. He got diagnosed with Stage 4 Tonsil cancer. We just switched Dr/s and had better results up in MN than we did here. We just got back from there. We live in WI. We have 5 little kiddos at home and it was a gush of emotions to hear that dreadful word. We choose to not waste it and beat it through the Glory of God. I came to listen to you at hearts at home last year in ILL and I love you dearly. Praying for you and lifting your family up.

  18. Dear Jill,
    I am so sorry for your diagnosis, and am praying that you will weather this new storm as well as your previous trials. You have a loving family and strong friendships, and you can beat this disease. I am glad that your husband is with you on this part of your journey. I will be praying for mental peace and strength for you, and wisdom and kindness for all the health professionals you meet.
    God bless,

  19. I have heard those words as well – after my first mammogram at 40 – and it is certainly something I never thought I would hear either! I will be praying for your successful surgery and radiation. As they say, “Fight like a girl!” This is just a small bump in the road for a woman with faith that can move mountains! 🙂

  20. Jill,
    Praying for peace for you and your family as you walk this journey! I have been there… I am a recovering breast cancer patient! 10 months ago I received the same news… and am now cancer free! Check out a site called “Hallalujah” and just read the content. I did, and it has changed the way I live. God is still God. Praying for your recovery and healing!

  21. Thank you for your ministry through Hearts at Home. My wife Sally attended several conferences years ago when our kids were young and she was always greatly encouraged them and you. In the last year both her mother and her sister were diagnosed with breast cancer. Both have undergone treatment and are doing well. I can’t imagine what those four words mean to a woman. But, by way of reminder (as if you needed any), there are four more words that are powerful also. “God is with you.” Our hearts and our prayers are with you.

  22. Dear Jill,
    I am thinking of you. Remember “The Lord watches over the way of the righteous” and You my friend are Righteous! My God help you to keep your mind on him through this and always.
    love, Kristina

  23. Wow, Jill! You continue being a woman that I admire so much! I love your bold declarations, and I will pray that God continues to support you through yet one more difficulty that endears you to even more of us. Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share your journey.

  24. Thanks for much for honestly sharing! My prayers are with you and your family! I just have to share that one of my best friends has just been diagnosed with breast cancer and she used to be on fire for the Lord a long time ago. Unfortunately, she has strayed and her husband isn’t a believer either. I am encouraging her to read your blog and hope that it leads her back to Christ. You are an inspiration to many! Thank you so much for your faithful journey in seeking Him in all things!

  25. Hugs and prayers. Thank you for sharing your journey and faith with us. May God wrap His arms around you and keep you comforted. My favorite song: “The Arms that Hold the Universe” by 33 miles.

  26. Sweet friend Jill,
    I know that God will show Himself in a mighty way as you walk through this season of life. Trusting Him for healing and praying for you and Mark for peace.
    Love you…

  27. Jill,
    Our hearts break along with you as we hear this news. Tears filled my eyes. We know that God will carry you through this and be faithful to you each step of the way. Praying that He will be especially near.

  28. Jill,
    I have been reading your books & your blog for years. It was you who inspired me to begin writing for moms, it was you who inspired me to begin a mom’s group in my church. I have been apart of your hearts at home Third Thursday blog posts, enjoyed your Facebook posts and parties.
    So today I feel as a friend to you, reading these words that no one wants to hear. I am so very sorry that you are going through this, however I know you are a strong woman of God with faith that can move mountains. I know that you can use this evil for good, in sharing your experience with those who have and will have to in the future.
    I pray for your team of doctors to have the knowledge needed to get the cancer out of your body. I pray for your family to be strong so that they can be with you on the days that you need them the most. I pray that your friends and readers will stand by you through these times.
    I am personally tired of the words, I have cancer. Those words have never been pointed at me directly. But they have surrounded my life. My mom diagnosed with Lymphoma and is a survivor. My Dad diagnosed with Leukemia and loss his battle with cancer. Three of my Aunts diagnosed with breast cancer and are survivors. Another Aunt is awaiting test results regarding remission, has all the cancer cells been removed?
    Friends have also been diagnosed with a variety of cancers some are survivors and some have lost their battle. A dear friend of the family, a young man is terminal. He is struggles daily with his diagnosis in knowing that there is nothing that they can do.
    I hate those 4 words. I wish they would not effect so many people in this world.

    With lots of tears, love and prayers, your friend, Jeanie

  29. Jill, I can’t express how sorry I am you had to hear those words. Amy and I heard them back in March and so much of what you’ve shared here rings so familiar. Know that we are praying for you, Mark, and the rest of your family (Anne is especially dear to us from her time serving with us in worship at Hanfield when she was in college).

    So thankful for your faith and for the people around you that will undoubtedly hold you up and carry you when necessary on this journey. Our God is a good God and He will use this to shape you and those around you in ways that will encourage you in surprising ways and serve to glorify Jesus as you walk in faith.

    While I know everyone’s diagnosis, treatment, and journey is different, if Amy’s story (she is on the other side of chemo and surgery and doing amazingly well) can be of any encouragement to you or to anyone that you meet along the way, it can be found at

    We will be praying as we hear news through your blog & through Anne and count it an honor to be able to intercede for you. May God’s peace, comfort, and strength hold you now and in the days to come as He works healing in and through you.


  30. Oh Jill,
    I think my heart stopped for a moment. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I know God is holding you through this. We read Psalm 32 in Bible Study today…verses 6 and 7 for you:
    Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to You at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him. You are a hiding place for me; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah

  31. Jill, I’m so sorry to hear this latest news. I can’t tell you what an encouragement you’ve been to me during my five short years of being a mom, and growing up in central Illinois listening to your hearts at home snipits on the radio. Many prayers for healing will be sent up for you in my home, and I hope that shrug this time you will feel the love and support of all those around you. Blessings to you, dear!

  32. Dear Jill,

    I have been a loyal reader of your website and blogposts for many years; I too was not expecting to read this. But thank you for your honesty. I am sorry that you have to walk this path. My mom has recovered from breast cancer. I had my first mammogram as well as a sonogram at 40.
    I will be praying for you and your family.

    Many blessings.


  33. Praying for you and your family, Jill, as you walk this road. Lord, make your comforting presence known to Jill right now in these very hard moments, and surround her with the loving support of her friends and family.

  34. Though we’ve never met in person, I read this with tears in my eyes. I am praying for you and your family. May you continue to rely on God and hold on to your strength, hope and determination.

  35. Hi Jill,

    I am friends with Erika and am 2 months out of Cancerland. I had Stage 3 Breast Cancer and the single best piece of advice I received was to get a second opinion. We do research for computers, cars and groceries, so we should research for treatment options. I know you are familiar with Rochester MN and I sought my second opinion at the Mayo Clinic up there. They did a PET scan and by doing so, found an addition tumor Christie Clinic in Champain had missed.

    So, I pass on the same advice to you: Get a second opinion. If you can get up to Mayo you will never regret it and get the best care possible.

    You and your family are, and will be, in my prayers.

  36. Jill, I have always admired you and your honesty. You are so willing to share your struggles with millions, and therefore have helped millions through their own. Lean on our rock, the one and only God! You have tons of prayers going up already and we know that prayer works!!!

  37. Hugs and prayers Jill! I will also pray that you have the best medical team possible. May all our prayers and thoughts lift you up during this dark time. You will come through the other end of this stronger and healthy, I just know it. 🙂

  38. Jill, I will be praying for you and your whole family. I am so thankful for the times God has proved himself faithful to you in the past. Those times are now a witness that he will continue to walk with you, holding your hand. May this difficult time draw you ever closer to our Father and reveal blessings that He has planned in advance for this time. I pray that you will find pockets of peace and much support in your season of stress.

  39. Reading your blog and reading these replies make me feel sadness and joy at the same time. You are so loved and have so many people praying for you. There is no doubt in me that you will beat this. No doubt. In this world we have trouble, but be of good cheer, for Jesus has overcome it all. Just another faith journey to walk out… victoriously. God is with you. I will be praying!

  40. Jill–I’m so sorry to hear this. You are obviously surrounded by many who love and care and are praying for you! I am one. Take care and may you feel God’s peace and presence and leading as you make treatment decisions.

  41. I will be keeping you in my prays. As I just discovered a lump in my breast this week and now have to have managram/ultrasound and a biopsy. I met with the surgeon on Monday for the biopsy. I can’t imagine how scarred you are. I know I am already worried and don’t have any answers or results yet to my lump. I do know God is a great God and he never gives one person more they can handle. You are strong person in your faith and the way you share it with others. Hang in there.

  42. My dear Jill – I am a two-time breast cancer survivor, praise God! When the radiologist gave me the news, I was dumbfounded. I am the first in my family to have this disease. When my husband, Rich, and I left the hospital after the news, we walked to the car and I finally broke down and sobbed. Rich took me in his arms and said, “PK, when most women hear of this diagnosis, they are devastated, which is understandable. But let’s do this: let’s treat this cancer, not with a capital “C”, but with a small “c.” Putting our faith in our Father in Heaven, and our Lord Jesus Christ, we allowed the Holy Spirit to guide us through the entire process. My cancer was Stage 3B, which means very painful and inflammatory, and required 8 months of chemo in order to shrink the THREE tumors in my very large (I’m a small person), red-hot, painful breast. All during this time, the Holy Spirit encouraged me to continue my aerobics classes, which I did. My husband was so extremely compassionate, kind and gentle, that I have given him the title of “My Greatest Earthly Blessing.” Five years after my surgery, in 2006, the cancer metastasized into my brain and I had a craniotomy (brain tumor removal).
    Well, I’ve rambled enough. Just know that I will be praying for you, along with your many supporters, that the Holy Spirit will guide you through this process, and that you have nothing to fear in the arms of our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. There is no better place to be.
    With the Love of Christ,

  43. Jill – (hugs) (hugs) (HUGS)!! As a woman who has also heard those dreaded words this year, let this give you some comfort: As frightened as I was, and as unsure of the future, miraculous things have happened to me this year because of it. I don’t know if you allow links on your comments (feel free to remove it after you have read my story if you need to) but please, read this and feel comforted. –> (please also search under the inspirational tag – there are several comforting stories about the blessings God has granted through this terrible year so far) Please know you’re in my prayers tonight.

    ~Taylor-Made Ranch~
    Wolfe City, Texas

  44. Praying for you & your family. I was diagnosed with triple-negtive breast cancer on July24th. I had a lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy, scans & now I’m going through chemo. When I finish chemo I’ll have radiation. My cancer was Stage II but a Grade 3, the most aggressive grade. So I know what you’re going through. All the decisions that have to be made & all the uncertainty. I’m here as a sounding board. We now both belong to the club we never wanted to join.

  45. Karen Ehman shared this post and asked for prayers for you. I found you through her. I’m lifting you in prayer tonight. Be encouraged, Sister. Cancer does not come from God but He can use it for good and make a horrible situation into blessings. (Romans 8:28). He loves you and is walking this path with you. My brother was born with a life threatening liver condition and was told by the age of five he would have a transplant. He’s 23 years old and JUST within the last year was placed on a transplant list. The doctors are baffled….he’s a miracle….we know it was God working in him. My mother contracted a sepsis infection in her blood stream my senior year of high school and was given a 50/50 shot at surviving, she took a turn for the worse and things weren’t looking good. Our church elders prayed over her and she began to recover. Now she is alive and well. She was able to see me graduate, see me married my husband and is enjoying all four of our children. 🙂 There is power in prayer! I’m praying for you and hope you are able to find comfort in Him when this path you’re on seems unbearable. <3 <3 <3

  46. Jill – You and your family and doctors are all in my prayers and in my heart. You have been such a huge influence on so many people’s lives, I know that you will have an unlimited supply of support, love, encouragement and prayer being poured out for you. Trust in God, trust in your physicians and the skills that God has given them, take all the offers of help and support that are offered to you and take care of yourself. I am in tears thinking of you and your family, I just wish that I could offer you more than my thoughts and prayers.

    May God bless you and your family.

  47. Oh Jill…….I feel like I’ve “known” you forever. You’ve helped walk me through every stage of parenting (my kids are 15 & 18). It’s now my honor to carry you in prayer. I can only hope to be a fraction of the blessing you’ve been to me. God bless you, sister.

  48. Jill, I just now saw this news and just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you’re having to travel this path. You and your family are in my prayers. Your “it is well with my soul” blessed me greatly. I want to have the same attitude whenever I have to journey in a direction I wasn’t planning and didn’t want. Thank you for being a faithful and honest example for so many.


  49. Jill,
    Heartbreaking news to hear no doubt. I feel like I have known you for 15 years since I went to my first Hearts at Home conference. You have a been such a big influence to me as a SAHM. Thank you for sharing all parts of your life with thousands of women. The power of prayer is incredible and it is a privilege to pray with these woman for you. Hugs to you..

  50. I am so sorry to hear this news, Jill! My prayers are with you and your family. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through, but you are right about one thing…God will take care of you! He will use you, as he already has, to help others. They are big shoes to fill, but you do. Just hold on to your faith. Thank you for all that you do! I look forward to seeing you at the conference next year. 🙂

  51. Jill,
    I know this feeling as I just heard those same words last week too. I am praying for you and your family. So thankful we have the Lord to carry us through!
    Philippians 4:6-7
    Proverbs 3:5-6
    Isaiah 41:10 & 13

  52. Jill, praying for you sweet sister. You are such an encouragement and blessing to many. May God work a miracle in your life and strengthen you for whatever lies ahead in His plan for you. Love you, Misty

  53. I got this same news from my mammogram on 9/30. Since that time I have had a diagnostic exam, needle biopsy, MRI, ultrasound, lumpectomy and made a visit to an oncologist. I now have an appointment for a consultation for radiation treatments, 5 days a week for 5 weeks. I pray that all goes well for you. Take Care and God Bless!!!

  54. Praying! As I read your note, I’m reminded that God has always, and will always, have a unique plan, path and purpose for your life, Jill. Praying for your complete healing, long life and excellent health, both now and for a long, long time to come. Love to you and your family. Eric

    • Thank you, Eric. I have prayed for your family as God has led over the past year. You also lived your journey in the open and I so appreciated that.

  55. Read something today in Rick Renner’s Sparkling Gems and thought of you. 2 Cor 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness” When you look at all the Greek meanings of the words it could be translated to “My grace is more than enough for you. If you’ll receive it, you’ll find that it will sufficiently endow you with more than you need to deal with any situation. My power is always on hand, available to help you in moments when you are weak and needy”.
    My you feel His grace and peace and power during this time.

  56. God is near to the broken hearted…may He surround you with peace and make this such a close time together for your family and with the Lord. Praying for you. Thank you for your honesty and your faith.

  57. Jill – I will be praying for you! I was diagnosed with breast cancer early this year, and went through a lumpectomy and radiation. God was so faithful, and placed some amazing docs in my path from both Peoria and Bloomington-Normal. Take everything one step at a time, and God will walk you through it all. Blessings, Fran

  58. 5 years ago I heard those words! I remember them very distinctly. As a mom of 41 with 7 kids, I just thought it can’t be me. I know the hardship, the friendship, the pain and the pleasure that comes with this. My diagnosis went to terminal 1 week after the original diagnosis, but God has me in His hands. Only He is not terminal, so this makes me feel so much better. He knew me before I was born and knew what I would deal with and He has helped me.
    It is not always easy and not fun. I will be praying for you an extra blessing of His favor and His love to shine thru to you as you deal with this.

  59. Hi Jill,
    I was so sorry to read on Crosswalk this morning that you have become another of my breast cancer sisters! I wrote the Crosswalk article they referenced How to Help A Friend With Breast Cancer
    I too heard my first diagnosis while driving…I so relate. I did find purpose in my pain by writing the book I wished I had going through it Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer: A Companion Guide for Women on the Breast Cancer Journey. If someone hasn’t already given you a copy I will try to get one to you. Praying for you my friend and I do believe we are AWSA sisters also!

  60. Jill, I am so sorry to hear this news. I feel that anything I say will have been heard over and over the next few months.

    My mother in law has ovarian cancer. Although it is not breast cancer, it’s still… cancer. She has a blog and writes about her journey, more as a lifestyle and embracing her cancer as a blessing in her life more than a sword in her side. Here is her blog:

    I hope that it brings encouragement and real life to you. We are praying for you here in Springfield, IL! I am excited to be bringing my small bible study group to HAH2014 and I’m looking forward to seeing you there too!!

  61. I am sorry to hear that you had to hear those words. I heard them myself last month. I was a candidate for lumpectomy, but opted for bilateral mastectomy, which I had 4 weeks ago. (My mother died from breast cancer….strong family history). It’s a long journey, and a new normal. I know you are a prayer warrior, and are surrounded by many others who are. There are many times that their prayers carry me. God’s power is strong, he is faithful, and he can be trusted. Best advice I got…praise Him even when you don’t fee like it, simply because it is obedient. There is so much power in that. Also, I have found a website where many are on a discussion board sharing their similar journeys. It’s called It has given me so much information and support. I will pray for you…..and I know you will absolutely be great. Praise God that they are able to find these things so early now!

  62. Jill, you are such a wonderful and remarkable woman to all of us. Thank God for all that you do. I will be thinking and praying for you. Praise God for his Mercy and Grace and Faithfulness.

  63. ‘news’ spreads quickly. so do prayers.
    My heart was filled with you and Hearts at Home years ago when I had little ones at home. I too have been dx with cancer (colorectal). I have done radiation, surgery and chemo. My hope for you is the image of Christ that so many will share with you. My heart has been filled with Him so much more with the outpouring of others love. Hugs.

    I will hold you always in the palm of my hand. Isaiah 41:13

  64. I am so sorry for your diagnosis. As a breast cancer survivor, I advise that you get a BRCA 1 & 2 test, ask lots of questions and seriously consider having a bilateral mastectomy. You are in my prayers.