Someone once said, “Expectations are preconceived resentments.” We think, in marriage, that there’s a lot of truth to that statement. That’s why we think it’s important for couples to ditch the expectations and that’s what today’s Marriage Monday is all about!
Too often expectations take the place of communication in marriage. We wish…we hope…we expect our spouse to do things or be things that we never communicate.
Most expectations are unstated. They build up inside of us and without realizing it we become resentful of our spouse for not doing the things we think they should be doing.
Sure, sometimes we think we’re communicating. We stomp around. We cross our arms. We sigh deeply. We speak with a harsh tone. Non-verbal communication does not count as healthy communication.
When expectations creep into our thoughts, we need to learn to channel those thoughts into words: kind, considerate words that communicate our needs, hopes, and dreams to one another.
There’s nothing wrong with communicating our wants and desires to one another. Communication makes our marriage stronger. Unspoken expectations damage a marriage. Spoken desires and needs strengthen a relationship.
Here are some questions to ask yourself about expectations:
1) Is this a reasonable request or am I imposing my ways of doing things on my spouse?
2) Can I let this expectation go and simply allow my spouse to be different?
3) How can I communicate my hopes and desires to my spouse in a respectful way?
How about you? How have you successfully ditched the expectations?
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