Marriage Monday: Doing Life Together

When two become one, does it mean you have to do everything together?  Today’s Marriage Monday looks at what “doing life together” really means.

Mark says…
Yesterday, we spent much of the afternoon and early evening working in the yard.  There were times that we were doing separate activities, but much of the time we were working side by side planting flowers, weeding flower beds, and cleaning up the yard after the long winter months.

Jill says…
I enjoyed the time together…it was Mother’s Day, after all!

Mark says…
We haven’t always done tasks side by side.  We’ve often done the “divide and conquer” strategy which works great when you want to get alot done.  But it doesn’t necessarily build intimacy, foster conversation, or just allow for time together.

Jill says…
On Saturday, we decided to run errands together.  Sure, I could have done them alone…but we’d had a busy week and having the time to talk in the car was important for us to stay connected.

Mark says…
Sometimes it’s important to put “invest in my marriage” on the “to do” list.  This is especially helpful if you are a TYPE A, driven-to-get-things-done kind of person.  Sure, while we were running errands together, I could have been home cutting the grass, but spending time together was just as important, so I had to make a choice.  Sometimes this is hard for me because I’ve always got a “to do” list going in my head.  But that’s when it’s helpful to have my marriage on my “to do” list.

Jill says…
It isn’t necessarily always the most efficient way of getting your “to do” list done, unless you can think of it as accomplishing a task AND investing in your marriage at the same time.  In that case, you’re still accomplishing two very important things at the same time!

Mark says…
There certainly are times when dividing and conquering makes the most sense.  And when our kids were little, sometimes divide and conquer was the only way to get anything done! Someone had to be on kid-duty and someone had to get something done!

Jill says…
But even when the kids were little, it was helpful to sometimes do household tasks together…like picking up toys, folding clothes, making dinner, or washing dishes.  Those jobs are so much easier when they are shared, plus conversation can be shared while doing them.  And not only that….but to many women, those tasks fall under the category of “foreplay.”  Yep, you read that right.  Men are sexually stimulated by what they see, but women are stimulated by attitudes and actions.  A man’s helpful actions help her “fall” for him all over again!

Mark says…
Yep, when I learned that, vacuuming took on a whole new meaning!

Jill says…
Doing life together has many benefits…both in and out of the bedroom!

Mark says…
So the next time your spouse is doing something like yard work, housework, or just cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.  Resist the urge to head off to do your own thing.  Join in and help…and invest in your marriage while doing the everyday activities of life!

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4 Responses to Marriage Monday: Doing Life Together

  1. wendy says:

    We have mostly been a “divide and conquer” couple…especially when the kids were younger! We both have “to do” lists (mine usually on paper and his in his head) so to get everything done and still have time for fun at the end of the weekend-day, we’d split up.

    It is usually faster alone, too. But, there are those times that chores together, or shopping together is both productive and fun, so we include those trips more and more as the kids get more independent.

    I think balance is key; not always doing together-jobs and not always apart.
    🙂

  2. Michelle says:

    I love the idea of putting your marriage on your “to-do list”! I love your marriage Mondays and how it’s almost like someone typed up a dialog between the two of you….this would be a neat addition to the WCIC spots! 🙂

    • JillSavage says:

      Thanks Michelle. This is how Mark and I talk when we present workshops together. That’s why it’s so easy for us to do Marriage Mondays.