Marriage Monday: Don’t sweat the small stuff

Yesterday we had some drive time which turns into great talk time.  We talked about how we’ve made so much progress in letting the small stuff go.  In doing so, we’ve reduced our stress, made our marriage a safer relationship, and kept conflict at bay.  We decided that would be the topic of today’s Marriage Monday.

Mark says…
Many years ago, a wiser, older man told me one lesson he’d learned over many years of marriage was to “stop sweating the small stuff.”  He said his wife had certain habits that irritated him and for years he commented on them, expressed his frustration about them, and even tried to correct them.

In time, he soon learned that this was a futile effort. Instead of being frustrated with these things, he needed to find a different response.  He eventually decided that “let it go” was a better internal response that would better honor his wife.

Jill says…
Every marriage partner has some habit that bugs their spouse.  Sometimes, there is value in addressing these issues, but more often than not, it’s best to just let them go.  Don’t get snagged.  Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Mark says…
This is especially helpful for things that just don’t really matter.  For instance, if your spouse can never remember correct details when retelling a story, don’t correct them.  It’s the story that matters, not the details.

Jill says…
Or if your spouse has trouble recalling names or remembering words and instead says things like “thingamajig” or “doodad”, don’t get exasperated when they do that, simply let it go.  See this as an endearing quality instead of a flaw to be corrected.

Mark says…
I’m amazed how many of us aren’t even aware that we do this.  We nitpick our spouse to death.  We “think” we’re being helpful to them, when what we’re really doing is being hurtful to them.

Jill says…
I’ve really been working on this for the past few years.  I’m amazed at how a few tweeks in how I internally process my frustrations with Mark has made a difference in how I think about him and talk to him.  By choosing to let more things go (internally), it’s made a huge different in our relationship.

Mark says…
I’ve definitely noticed a difference…and I like it!  I’ve also been motivated to do the same.

Jill says…
And I definitely like it, too!

What about you?  How do you work to not sweat the small stuff in your marriage?

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2 Responses to Marriage Monday: Don’t sweat the small stuff

  1. Pam Kuchenmeister says:

    I needed to hear this today….that has been an almost 25 year struggle for me and it has brought nothing of value to my marriage. THANK YOU Mark and Jill for sharing truth to help marriages!! May God continue to richly bless all you do to glorify God and bring healing and restoration to marriages!

    • JillSavage says:

      Pam, I’m so glad this was helpful. We can change our marriage in so many ways when we recognize the choices we can make each and everyday.