Last September, Mark and I started taking an exercise class together. It’s a first for us as we’ve always done any exercise routine we had independent of one another.
Last August, our youngest headed off to college and we suddenly realized that we had a newfound freedom to explore. We decided to sign up for a 10 week “Extreme Bodyshaping” class together.
Doing this class together has caused us to ask, “What else are we doing apart that we could be doing together?” It’s a good question for any couple to ask, no matter their season of life.
Last weekend, I had the privilege of hearing John Rosemond speak. He shared about the tragedy in our culture of our lives revolving around our children which is not only creating a self-centered generation but it is also destroying marriages. He said that he often surveys his audiences when he speaks about how much time they spend nurturing their kids and how much time they spend nurturing their marriage. Most often it is in the vicinity of 95% kids and 5% marriage. No wonder so many families are falling apart. We are child-centered when our children desperately need us to be marriage-centered. You see, when mom and dad’s relationship is strong, it gives a sense of security to the kids.
Of course, it’s important that we have our own hobbies, interests, and even friendships. It wouldn’t be healthy to do EVERYTHING together. However, there are things we do apart that we don’t need to be. Consider some of these things:
- Reading aloud together
- Reading separately, but snuggled next to each other
- Going to bed at the same time
- Running errands
- Grocery shopping
- Cooking dinner
If your kids are little, it may be harder to run errands, exercise, or grocery shop together, but going to bed at the same time, cooking dinner, or reading together could be possibilities.
Marriage require investment. It needs intentionality. Evaluating what you are doing apart that you could be doing together is an important step in moving from me to we.
What about you? What are you doing apart that you could be doing together? What is one change you could make to move from me to we?