Marriage Monday: What I Committed To When I Said I Do

Angie 3_2012Today’s post is from my friend Angie. She wrote it for our local newspaper and I told her that it had to be shared on the blog.

I hope it encourages you in the same way it encouraged me!

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I didn’t know what I was signing up for when I stood in front of a crowd and vowed to love and cherish the handsome smiling man in front of me.

My imagination dreamed of my husband and I caring for each other through age, sicknesses, and the basic good and bad life events. Those big things I had thought about.  I see now that I overlooked the commitment to love in the daily grind of priorities, words, and agendas.

But the commitment to love during these things is what those vows were for.

Yes, I am committed to the big things.  I will be faithful to my husband.  I will stick by him and encourage him. That’s what I knew when I signed up ten years ago. And now I’m discovering the unexpected commitments that require me to be selfless and love without condition among other complexities I have yet to discover about my marriage commitment. Along with those vows to the big stuff that I publically made ten years ago, I am daily learning that I’m also committed to:

  • Allowing my life to be more complex – Merging  my husband’s thoughts, ideas, and plans with my own creates opportunities to work together to figure out what our lives will look like on a daily basis.
  • Fighting my impulsive responses to criticize – The starry-eyed romantic glasses I wore early on in our relationship have clouded over.  The times when I come face to face with evidence that  my husband is less than perfect, my commitment to marriage means I don’t spout out the harsh words I feel.
  • Admit my imperfection – I cannot admit he is right without recognizing this means I am often wrong.
  • Invest time into the relationship – Just as with anything worth nurturing, marriage doesn’t grow without working on it.
  • A specific lifestyle that cares for my husband’s heart and needs ahead of my own.
  • Studying my husband as life changes to understand him on ever deepening levels and find ways I can meet even his unspoken needs.
  • Resisting needless moments of conflict

These commitments set a high bar.  They require giving of myself in ways I don’t always want to, but this giving without expecting reciprocation is the very essence of true love.  This is what I’ve committed to.

What about you?  What have you realized is a part of the “I do” commitment you made? 

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2 Responses to Marriage Monday: What I Committed To When I Said I Do

  1. Moe Butcher says:

    Oh, so very true. I’ve always said, ” Being married is HARD WORK.” We must LEARN to be a marriage partner. That means different things for each of us, girls. But it is a learning process that many do not survive. First you have to GROW UP & stop being “THE PRINCESS” in reality for some who were spoiled at home… in our minds for others. Second, be a KIND person.
    Some of us think the world resolves around us… hmmm…
    You have to give of yourself. NOT JUST TAKE.
    You have to FORGIVE. You NEED to learn to SAY “I’m SORRY.” and MEAN it. Don’t be afraid of saying you’re sorry.
    You have to learn to LOVE his family.
    You don’t just marry HIM… You marry his family too… You’d better not complain to your mom, your sisters, etc about HIS family, because when YOU have grown up and worked out all the difficult stuff between you & them, those that you VENTED to, may still be holding onto GRUDGES on YOUR BEHALF…

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