Thirty years ago today Mark and I said “I do.” My 19-year-old mind had danced with visions of perfection of both our wedding day and our marriage relationship. My 23-year-old husband had similar expectations.
The day of our wedding turned out to be one of the hottest days on record for June 25. Nearing 100 degrees, our wedding party melted in the heat. After the reception, our ride to the hotel disappeared and we had to have a family member fill in. We had our first conflict on our honeymoon at a campground in the Rocky Mountains.
Those visions of perfection began to dance right out of my head in the first few hours of marriage!
Mark and I verbalize that we’ve been married thirty years, twenty of them happily. Indeed our thirty years have been hard-earned. We came from completely different family environments. We each brought our own emotional baggage into our marriage. We have very different personalities. I’m a thinker; he’s a feeler. I’m an internal processer; he’s an external processer. He likes coffee; I like tea. He loves nuts in his brownies and I think brownies are ruined if they have nuts in them.
We’re not perfect, but we are perfect for each other. Our differences balance us out. As I share in No More Perfect Moms, God has actually used our imperfect marriage to perfect us over the years. Selfishness has been brought to the surface and rooted out. Communication skills have improved. Emotional baggage has been unpacked with the help of some good (and some not-so-good) marriage counselors. Our faith has been deepened through the hard seasons. We’ve come to understand that love is a choice…a verb…a way of life to be learned.
There are no perfect marriages—just an imperfect union of a husband and wife who make mistakes and learn to forgive, give grace, and love in ways they never thought they could.
Happy Anniversary, Mark. I love you.