There Are No Perfect Marriages, But There Is Still A Lot to Celebrate!

Picture1Thirty years ago today Mark and I said “I do.” My 19-year-old mind had danced with visions of perfection of both our wedding day and our marriage relationship. My 23-year-old husband had similar expectations.

The day of our wedding turned out to be one of the hottest days on record for June 25. Nearing 100 degrees, our wedding party melted in the heat. After the reception, our ride to the hotel disappeared and we had to have a family member fill in. We had our first conflict on our honeymoon at a campground in the Rocky Mountains.

Those visions of perfection began to dance right out of my head in the first few hours of marriage!

Mark and I verbalize that we’ve been married thirty years, twenty of them happily. Indeed our thirty years have been hard-earned. We came from completely different family environments. We each brought our own emotional baggage into our marriage. We have very different personalities. I’m a thinker; he’s a feeler. I’m an internal processer; he’s an external processer. He likes coffee; I like tea. He loves nuts in his brownies and I think brownies are ruined if they have nuts in them.

_DSC0575We’re not perfect, but we are perfect for each other. Our differences balance us out. As I share in No More Perfect Moms, God has actually used our imperfect marriage to perfect us over the years. Selfishness has been brought to the surface and rooted out. Communication skills have improved. Emotional baggage has been unpacked with the help of some good (and some not-so-good) marriage counselors. Our faith has been deepened through the hard seasons.  We’ve come to understand that love is a choice…a verb…a way of life to be learned.

There are no perfect marriages—just an imperfect union of a husband and wife who make mistakes and learn to forgive, give grace, and love in ways they never thought they could.

Happy Anniversary, Mark.  I love you.


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6 thoughts on “There Are No Perfect Marriages, But There Is Still A Lot to Celebrate!

  1. Hi Jill and Mark,

    Happy 30th anniversary! It’s my sister-in-law’s and brother-in-law’s 25th wedding anniversary today, as well.

    I want to thank you for being open and vulnerable with all of us. My husband and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary this year and we have also experienced a lot of difficulty along the way. We weren’t Christians when we were married, but we both had the attitude that marriage was for life. There have been times when we have not liked each other very much. We have been Christians for about 17 years now and things are better, but we have our moments. However, just as we are a work in progress, so is our marriage and keeping God at the centre is so important.

    As you say, there are no perfect marriages. We have made a choice to stay married and want to be happily married, so are willing to do whatever we need to, for our sakes and our children’s sakes.

    Congratulations on your 30 years, Jill and I wish you many more happily married years together.

  2. Congrats on 30 years! I thank you for your candidness and your absolute honesty! It has been such a blessing in my marriage (of 11 years). Praying that no matter the challenges ahead you always face them as a team of 3! (And really I pray that those challenges are more about where to go on vacation!)

  3. Happy 30th Anniversary, Jill and Mark! Beautiful article, keeping it real! The work of remaining married, isn’t at all about perfection, rather, loving, despite imperfections! Praying for continued joy for you both! Blessings!

  4. Thanks so much for your realness, your honesty, and both of you continuing to put one foot in front of the other to bring God more glory through the way he has redeemed your marriage! There is still so much to learn. Thank you for being a blessing and an encouragement to so many! Hope you guys enjoy your getaway together!

  5. Happy Belated Anniversary!!! I wanted to share one of our greatest Anniversary celebrations. In 1968 we planned a two week honeymoon as Loren would be headed to the Army and eventually View Nam so we wanted to spend that time together. We did have to use some family members for places to stay because we didn’t have very much money. We traveled from Flagstaff, Arizona to Las Vegas, then to Reno, Virginia City and Lake Tahoe. From there we went to San Francisco, Sacramento and down Highway 101 (we were to travel down the scenic Highway 1 but changed our minds at the last minute and had always been sorry) to Huntington Beach, and Disneyland and back to Flagstaff.

    We were coming upon our 40th Anniversary and we wanted to do something special. Finally, Loren came up with the greatest idea and I loved it. He said, why don’t we retrace our honeymoon trip. Since we live in Las Vegas, we decided to just start here. We made just a few changes; we ended up going down Highway 1 this time and got to see the most scenic drive you could ever see on the West coast. It was a fabulous trip and we will always remember the specialness of retracing our honeymoon trip.