I’m so excited about the next Hearts at Home book, No More Perfect Moms. Releasing in Feb 2013, this book promises to release us from the tyranny of comparison, embrace authenticity, and find freedom from unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others.
While I’m busy writing the book, we need your help titling the book! We have the title (No More Perfect Moms), but no subtitle. Can you help us?
Below you’ll find an excerpt from the Introduction of the book. Read through it and then head over on the Hearts at Home Facebook page. There you’ll find a survey of four suggested subtitles as well as a place for you to submit your own subtitle suggestion. (By the way, if you haven’t “liked” our Facebook page, do that first, and then you’ll be able to access the survey!)
When child number one threw a fit in the grocery store one day, screaming at the top of her lungs in this very public place, I was so embarrassed. When I’d witnessed a scene like that before I had children, I swore my kids would never do that. Now that I’m a mom, I find myself in all kinds of situations I never thought I’d be in.
When the kids didn’t sleep much, I found myself beyond weary. When they didn’t potty train as quickly as other kids their age, I was discouraged. When they grew older and began to have a mind of their own, I found myself exhausted from the conflict.
I’m less patient than I thought I’d be. I weigh more than I want to. My children are more strong-willed than I expected. My kitchen counter seems to always be a mess. At times, my marriage isn’t the “happily ever after” I dreamed it would be.
Inside I begin to think thoughts like: I don’t measure up. I’m failing as a mom. My kids don’t act like her kids. My house doesn’t look like her house. My body doesn’t look like her body. My husband doesn’t help like her husband does. What is wrong with me?
Have you ever felt that way? Have you wondered what is wrong with you, with your family, with your kids?
The truth is that nothing is wrong with you or your family. You are normal. Your frustrations are normal. Your disappointments are normal. Your struggles are normal. In fact, that’s what this book is all about..the search for normal.
When you and I compare our insides to other women’s outsides, we always come out short. We’re comparing our struggles to their masks. Here’s the truth:
- You are not the only mom who feels worthless sometimes.
- You are not the only mom who yelled at your children today.
- You are not the mom who is trying to blend two families into one and finding it far more difficult than you thought.
- You are not the only mom who wishes her husband would just hold her and listen to her.
- You are not the only mom who is critical of her husband.
- You are not the only mom who isn’t making enough money to make ends meet.
- You are not the only mom who constantly battles a weight issue.
- You are not the only mom who struggles with your faith and understanding God.
- You are not the only mom who has said something to a friend that you later regretted.
- You are not the only mom who feels like she has no friends.
- You are not the only mom who is struggling in your marriage.
- You are not the only mom who has dealt with depression.
- You are not the only mom who has conflict about sex or money in your marriage.
- You are not the only mom that has a difficult child or a wayward teenager.
- You are not the only mom who has discovered your husband is addicted to pornography.
- You are not the only mom who has discovered your husband has been unfaithful.
- You are not the only mom who can’t seem to keep up with the laundry and the house.
- You are not the only mom who struggles with challenges of being a “single mom.”
- You are not the only mom who sometimes wants to run away.
You are not alone. You are among friends who struggle with the same things you struggle with…unfortunately most of us just don’t talk about these “inside” issues often enough and that’s what causes us to feel alone or feel like we’ve failed.
There are no perfect moms (just women who make a good outward appearance). There are no perfect kids (just kids who are dressed well and behave well just when you see them). There are no perfect houses (just ones where the clutter is cleverly stored!) There are no perfect bodies (just ones who know the beauty of Spanx!)
Perfection doesn’t exist…but unfortunately we waste a lot of time and energy pursuing the elusive mirage we’re just sure can be found. While we’re pursuing perfection, we’re missing out on the most precious parts of life: the laughter of silliness, the joy of spontaneity, the lessons found in failure, and the freedom found in grace.
Let’s take a journey together to find the realities of “normal.” Let’s stop trying to find “perfect” and embrace “authentic.” Let’s hear some of the real stories of real moms. Turn the page with me…I think you’ll find you are not as alone as you sometimes think you are.
Hop over to Facebook and help us find a compelling subtitle for this book that will be so important for moms all over the world! I can’t wait to get your feedback!