Put Some Spontaneity Into Your Marriage!

ThinkstockPhotos-468172358Mark: This weekend Jill spoke at a women’s retreat in Grove, Oklahoma. I traveled with her to manage the book table. On the way home, the final leg of our flight was overbooked. They were looking for volunteers to stay an extra leg in Detroit. We had both already taken the next day off as a recovery day from the big weekend, so we decided to be spontaneous and take the deal which included generous airfare vouchers, overnight accommodations, and meal vouchers.

Jill: We could have never done before because we always had kids to get home to. Now that we’re empty nesters, it was a possibility to consider.  However, you don’t have to be empty nesters to put a little spontaneity into your marriage.

Mark: As humans we’re naturally creatures of habit.  Our routines are what makes life comfortable and even gives us a sense of stability. However, our routines can also make our lives stagnant, pushing our relationships into a rut. It’s our responsibility to add a little spice to our marriage life to keep the fires burning!

Jill: Last Monday, on Labor Day, Mark and I were busy getting all kinds of things done on our long “to do” list.  It was beautiful outside and I was longing to be relaxing in the sun. On a whim, I decided to invite Mark to grab a book and a lawnchair and come join me to sit in the sun out in the yard for just 30 minutes.  We could have done that kind of spontaneity even when we had kids at home!

Mark: Need some practical ideas for adding some spice to your marriage? Here are a few ideas:

  • Surprise your spouse with their favorite candy bar for no reason.
  • Pack a picnic and head to the park for dinner.
  • If you’re not the one who usually prepares meals, take over the responsibility for a meal every once in a while.
  • Tell your spouse what you’re NOT wearing today.
  • Decide to have a little “horizontal fellowship” somewhere other than the bedroom. Serve breakfast in bed.
  • Eat dinner as a picnic in the back yard
  • After the kids go to bed, play a board game together.
  • Surprise your spouse with an unexpected night out (if your partner likes surprises!) where you arrange for the childcare and determine what’s on the agenda for the night based upon what your spouse enjoys.
  • Prepare your spouse’s favorite holiday food…at a non-holiday time!  Does he/she love pumpkin pie?  Pumpkin pie in June is a treat!
  • Turn off the television one evening this week, spread a blanket in the yard, and lay out and look at the stars together.

Jill: It’s important that to avoid the ruts of routine. Keeping a marriage fresh and exciting is part of our responsibility as a married partner. Do something unexpected today to surprise your spouse!

What about you? How have you incorporated spontaneity into your marriage?  What ideas would you add to the list? 

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