Q & A Day: My child is questioning his sexuality

Dear Jill,

I am writing you with a heavy heart. My 15-year-old questions his sexuality. He has been making it known for several months now that he is confused.

What am I to do? Where do I go for answers?

A Heavy-Hearted Mom


Dear Heavy-Hearted Mom,

I know this is very hard to deal with. I am praying for wisdom for you. It’s very important that you provide a safe environment for communication in your home.  Continue to be open to his emotions.  Don’t let your fear or insecurity get in the way of hearing his heart. Resist the urge to lecture and listen and ask questions instead.

There are also a few resources that may be helpful for you:

1)I recently met Christopher Yuan and his story is incredible. He and his mother co-wrote the book Out of a Far Country, which chronicles the mother-son relationship as he navigated the journey of sexuality and as his mother supported, loved, and prayed for him during that journey.

2)You can call Focus on the Family at 1-800-A-FAMILY and tell them that you need resources for dealing with a child who is confused about sexuality.  They are usually quite knowledgeable and generous. They also have counselors you can speak to. Just ask.

This is an issue that isn’t talked about in the mothering community very often. Your question is the fourth Facebook message/email I’ve received from moms on this topic in the past two months.  It’s important to know that you are not alone.


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One thought on “Q & A Day: My child is questioning his sexuality

  1. I read a Karen Kingsbury book one time that touched on this subject, it was part of the Bailey Flannigan series (Longing) and she had a friend who was gay and he was asking her why God would make him like this if He didn’t want this for him and she said something that stuck with me. She said that God hates pride and that she always wanted to do things perfectly, that she never wanted to fail and wanted everyone around her to notice. She went on to say that just because it’s part of our personality doesn’t mean it’s what’s best for us, that following Christ means setting aside our own desires to follow Him and that as she started setting aside her pride and fighting against it that she could see God helping her. I loved that she didn’t attack but showed using herself that just because you have certain attributes or feelings it doesn’t mean they’re what’s best for you…