So many of you have been praying for me and my family and I am so grateful. I also want you to know that your prayers have made a difference. In the past few weeks, my husband has made a U-Turn and has been walking back toward our marriage and our family. I am so thankful for your prayer partnership.
Reality is still reality, though. I’m still sleeping single in a king-sized bed and honestly evenings and nights are the hardest for me. This is when loneliness kicks in. It’s when feelings of rejection threaten to overtake me and tears of pain seem to come without warning.
However, this is also when I draw closest to God. I talk to Him as a friend and He talks to me through His word. I try to read my Bible each night when I crawl in bed (Psalm 61, 62, 63, 139 and Galatians 5 are favorites) . His word changes my perspective…it replaces lies with truth. That truth brings me hope in the midst of what sometimes feels hopeless. It squashes fear that feels so tangible. It brings me peace…a peace that passes all understanding…truly a peace that makes no sense.
And as I crawl under the sheets, the last thing I usually whisper before I sleep is, “Hold me Jesus. I need to feel your arms around me.” And He does. And I do.
I may be sleeping single in a king-sized bed, but I am not alone.
And neither are you.
Update: May 2012: Mark has returned to his family and his marriage. We are grateful for God’s continued healing in our lives and we trust that He will use this dark and difficult season for His purposes.
Update: June 2013: Mark and I are celebrating 30 years of marriage and we are so grateful!