Groups at New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
The Smartest Question You’ll Ever Ask
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a meltdown and suddenly you wonder, “How did I get here?”
That question came to me many times when I was growing up. It was usually after realizing I was dating the wrong person (yet again), I had fallen into some habitual sin (yet again) or after someone had said something and my feelings were hurt (yet…ok, you get it!)
Trouble was, “How did I get here?” was exactly the question I should have been asking and I didn’t know it! Let me explain.
As a newborn I had never experienced hurt or trauma. My parents took good care of me and I relied on them for all my needs. But once I started to grow, I began to have interactions with others and I learned quickly that sometimes those interactions ended in pain or disappointment. Some of them were even traumatic and left a wound to remind me of the event.
As we go through life, we often act and react to others based on those past experiences. It becomes so automatic that we will often do it without even knowing. For instance, a friend of mine was telling me about seeing a football game in which one player spit in the face of another. She was incensed at the action and reacted strongly.
Her family was baffled over the incident, but as we talked it became clear why she was so angered. In college she had an abusive boyfriend who had held her down and spit in her face. She was acting and reacting in the present based on something she thought she had put to rest a long time ago.
One of the best things we can do is become aware when we find ourselves overreacting to something and ask the question, “How did I get here?” Another good one is, “Why does this bother me so much?” Or how about, “Father, show me if there is a memory or event at the root of this outburst!”
God is faithful. He wants His children walking in healing. 3 John 2 says, “Beloved, I wish above all things that you would prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers.” Facing those things that have hurt us in order for the Lord to restore us to health is liberating and biblical!
Next time you find yourself in a sticky situation, take a moment and ask yourself one of those questions and then expect a response from the Lord. Then follow these steps to receive God’s healing:
1. If the Lord brings to mind a memory that was hurtful, allow yourself to think about the event.
2. Identify the emotion that was present during the event. Really allow yourself to feel it once again and then rate it on a scale of 1-10 (10 is the worst).
3. Now ask yourself, “What is the message that was conveyed about myself during this event?” “What did it say about me?” (Hint: This is usually the lie that the enemy has told us about ourselves.)
4. Now look around and find out where Jesus was during the event.
5. Ask Him to take the lies that you have believed about you and get rid of them. (Take note of how he does this—it’s awesome!)
6. Then ask Him to simply minister over you and speak truth about your identity. (The original emotion you felt should be at a lower number or non-existent.)
And if you feel you need more help, find a good Christian counselor or pastor through your church. Today is a good day to start walking in freedom through Christ!