This past Saturday morning, I picked up Marie from her crib and pulled my back. The intense pain took my breath away. I thought for sure that it was a minor muscle spasm that would go away in a few minutes.
That was five days ago and my favorite position is still lying flat on the couch or my bed. This injury has been quite painful. X-rays determined that there’s not a spinal problem…it’s all muscular.
So I alternate heat and ice and prefer lying flat to sitting or being upright. But God doesn’t waste anything in our life. This has been no exception. Here’s what he’s been impressing upon my heart these past few days:
1) I like to be in control. When you are injured, you can’t be in control. I’ve been forced to let go of my white knuckle grip on the everyday happenings of life.
2) I don’t like to ask for help. I like to be self-sufficient. I don’t like to put others out or impose upon them.
3) I am learning to re-trust my husband. Last fall and spring he was very much in his own world. I couldn’t depend on him because he wasn’t available–physically or emotionally. But he is here now. Fully committed. Giving me no current reason to mistrust him. Yet the fear is still there.
These are the lessons God is teaching me about these things:
1) Control: This is a pride issue. God is dealing with me about my need to control being rooted in pride.
2) Asking for help: This also has a root of pride. More importantly, however, God is showing me that when I allow myself to be served, someone else experiences the blessing of giving.
3) Re-trusting my husband. God is the Redeemer. He heals the broken places in our hearts and in our relationships. Even when trust has been broken, God can rebuild that if we’ll allow Him to work in our heart and mind. Mark has not let me down once in the past five days since I hurt my back. I’m having to risk trust. God is at work.
So what’s been happening lately in your life? Has God been using it to teach you any lessons? I’d love to hear about it!