What an injury can teach you…

This past Saturday morning, I picked up Marie from her crib and pulled my back.  The intense pain took my breath away.  I thought for sure that it was a minor muscle spasm that would go away in a few minutes.

That was five days ago and my favorite position is still lying flat on the couch or my bed. This injury has been quite painful.  X-rays determined that there’s not a spinal problem…it’s all muscular.

So I alternate heat and ice and prefer lying flat to sitting or being upright.  But God doesn’t waste anything in our life.  This has been no exception.  Here’s what he’s been impressing upon my heart these past few days:

1) I like to be in control.  When you are injured, you can’t be in control.  I’ve been forced to let go of my white knuckle grip on the everyday happenings of life.

2) I don’t like to ask for help.  I like to be self-sufficient.  I don’t like to put others out or impose upon them.

3) I am learning to re-trust my husband.  Last fall and spring he was very much in his own world. I couldn’t depend on him because he wasn’t available–physically or emotionally.   But he is here now.  Fully committed.  Giving me no current reason to mistrust him. Yet the fear is still there.

These are the lessons God is teaching me about these things:

1) Control: This is a pride issue.  God is dealing with me about my need to control being rooted in pride.

2) Asking for help: This also has a root of pride.  More importantly, however, God is showing me that when I allow myself to be served, someone else experiences the blessing of giving.

3) Re-trusting my husband.  God is the Redeemer.  He heals the broken places in our hearts and in our relationships.  Even when trust has been broken, God can rebuild that if we’ll allow Him to work in our heart and mind.  Mark has not let me down once in the past five days since I hurt my back.  I’m having to risk trust. God is at work.

So what’s been happening lately in your life? Has God been using it to teach you any lessons?  I’d love to hear about it!

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7 Responses to What an injury can teach you…

  1. Julie Barnhill says:

    My heart flinched upon reading #3–((((hug))))–such confession, Jill, has displayed a level of vulnerability which is rarely shown among women…online friends…and those, like you, who are considered to be “in the ministry.” Thank-you, Jill, for saying what so many have experienced (are experiencing) in their marriages. Circumstances and details vary as greatly as the men and women involved but the hesitancy to “go there” remains stubbornly the same.

  2. Dirkie Christensen says:

    Like Julie my heart twisted at your honesty and transparancy which in itself is an exercise in trust. (Lets face it, bloggerland is not know for its gentle way of handling such things)
    I think most wives have period where they are nuddged, forced, coerced by the Father to trust our husbands after times where we have been gravely hurt and our trust splintered. You just showed us how we need to act, to trust and see the faithfulness that has replaced the actions that caused the hurt.
    Keep plodding on Jill, you are doing us a great service with your transparancy even when you need to make it opaque to protect you and your husband. Praying for your back, back pain sucks!

  3. Heather Finnegan says:

    Jill, I agree with Julie. Thank you for being so very transparent and brave enough to share those things that most women would be ashamed to admit. And we shouldn’t be, it’s all rooted in pride I think. We don’t want anyone to know that we don’t have it all together. God put me in the hospital last February for 2 days with severe dehydration due to the stomach flu. I had to give it all up. My husband had to get both boys to school and do homework and be Mr. Mom as I wasn’t physically able to be there. I had to resist the urge to “micro-manage” from my room. It was hard. Thankfully friends and my hubby, who was recovering from the same bug-though he wasn’t hit as hard, stepped up and took care of my kids. And when my hubby forgot milk money the teacher made sure my son had milk with his lunch. I let go and let people bring me food. Of course now that I am well, I am back to my type A self, “doing it all” though I have learned when someone asks if they can help, I say “yes”. It’s hard though.

  4. Joy Kaurin says:

    Jill, I so appreciate your honesty and transparency. I believe this is yet one more reason why God continues to bless and grow your ministry. I am thankful for you– you will never know this side of heaven how you have encouraged and strengthened a mama of 3 little ones. Stay the course!

  5. Heidi Forward-Kraft says:

    Thank you Jill for sharing!! I appreciate your honesty and it is an encouragement to those of us that are struggling with the same issues!! It gives me hope!! I just got my Conference-to-go CD’s yesterday and can’t wait for that encouragement either! Thanks for all that you do and I hope your muscles start feeling better!!!

  6. Hi Jill–
    Thank you so much for sharing, especially the part about trusting your husband. We never know how the Lord will work. May He heal you quickly! And blessings to you and your family.

  7. I had a wreck this week and totaled my mini van, but, thankfully, my two kids, our friend we carpool to school with, and myself are all fine. The lady in the other vehicle involved was released from the hospital that day. It’s been emotionally overwhelming, but God has certainly reminded me of his provision to care for us, even when things don’t go as expected or “right,” like your injury. Hope you feel better. Thanks for your honesty and the reminder that God is in control.

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