Your Spouse Isn’t The Person You Married

GettyImages-sb10065243e-001 (1)Jill: Today is Mark’s birthday! Happy Happy Birthday to my man!

Mark: You know, it’s always been important to me to have a big, birthday celebration. Interestingly, the older I get, I desire smaller celebrations.

Jill: Which brings us to today’s Marriage Monday thought: Your spouse isn’t the person you married.

Mark: It seems like a crazy statement, but it’s the truth. Your spouse will change and so will you. So the question we need to ask ourselves is this: Am I plowing forward with “old info” or am I tuning into the changes happening in me and those happening in my spouse?”

Jill: Celebrations are a great place to ask questions like:

  • Your birthday is coming up. How do you want to celebrate?
  • I’m thinking about Thanksgiving. What would be your perfect Thanksgiving day?
  • Our anniversary is next month, what would you like that to look like?

Mark: It’s easy to assume that we know what our spouse wants based upon past experience. However, your spouse is a changing, developing, maturing, growing human being. If we know that, we can make an effort to explore, discover, and learn about our mate and their changing desires.

Jill: So I asked Mark what he wanted to do for his birthday. “Just a little celebration,” he said. And there was a change from his usual request for German Chocolate cake to something more healthy.

Mark: 56 years of birthdays causes a person to look at what’s really important in life. I’m still an extrovert that loves a good party, but my circle has grown smaller and my desires have changed. So I’m paying attention to those changes and communicating them as well!

What about you? Are you allowing your spouse to change? Are you tuning into his or her changing likes and dislikes?  Is there a celebration coming up where you can give him or her a chance to share their thoughts? 

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