I think for most of us, it’s always easier to be on the giving side than the receiving side. I’m reminded of this as I still recover from surgery and have to depend on my son and husband to lift anything more than 2 lbs. I’m independent, self-sufficient, and usually quite capable. But weakness teaches us things and I’m learning to let go of control in this season.
When He lived on this earth Jesus talked, touched, visited, helped, and even laughed with those He loved. He responded in crisis (in His timing of course–if you know the story of Lazarus), he cried, and he gave love and grace. We get the opportunity to follow in His footsteps when there are needs around us.
Having been on the receiving end of the care of others, I have found is that the more specific the offer, the better it is for the receiver. Do you know someone who is in crisis, lonely, grieving, recovering, or even just had a baby? Rather than just saying, “Let me know if you need anything.” try one of these offers:
- I have next Thursday available, can I take your kids for a few hours?
- I’d like to come clean your house for you, can I come do that on Tuesday?
- I’d like to bring you dinner, will tomorrow night work?
- I have two hours on Tuesday evening free. What needs to be done that is bugging you that I can do for you?
- I’m headed to the store. Is there anything I can pick up for you?
- I’m running some errands this afternoon. Can I drop by for a 30 minute visit?
- Here’s a gift card and delivery menu–dinner’s on us tonight.
My friend Becky offered to come over and help me the day before my surgery. She said, “I’m here to help you get done whatever you really want to get done before you’re down for a while.” She helped me do a little cooking, cleaning, and organizing. She also helped me get the guest room ready for my mom to arrive. We laughed later that I was “surgery nesting” because I was a cleaning/reorganizing machine.
Two days after my surgery my friend Lisa asked me if she could come over and wrap my Christmas presents. She and her teenage daughter came over and wrapped gifts while Mark was at work. What a gift that was for me and for Mark because the whole job would have fallen to him since I only had use of one arm!
Both of these friends and others like them have been Jesus with skin on! Their offers were specific and easier to say yes to than a generic offer. They blessed both me and my family.
What about you? Who could you be a blessing to today?
Jill,
Thanks for sharing how your friends are loving on you and your family. It does my heart good to know that, as I worry about how you are doing. I live in Ohio but if I lived closer to you, I would offer my services to help too. Hearts at Home has touched my life so much through the years. I have brought many friends to the conferences with me. Thank you for all the encouragement and spiritual growth that you have brought into my life. I will continue to pray for you and for your family. Having had cancer in my family, I know the strength it takes to get through it. God is good and mighty. His love for you is so strong.
Isaiah 43: 1b – 3
Thank you so much, Cindy!
Thank you Jill for sharing these “real helping”s with us. It was an eye-opener to me.
I am the one who never offers help to anyone because of the fear of doing it in the wrong way. Not the offering but the job itself or the accomplishments or whatever.
So maybe someday I will find the strength to offer specific “hand-ons” (? – is it the right word?).
This new year really sets me going. I want to change my weight because I realize that my daughters use to copy my behaviour in times of stress or feeling emptiness or loneliness– They tend to eat!!! The same do I!
I want to try to reach out of my “snail home”. Maybe this will help others and me because maybe it distracts me from eating??
I am to change!!!
Blessings for you, your family and all of your friends.
Diane
Hi Jill,
Im looking forward to hearing from you.
I just heard you speaking tonight on the radio, our Christian station is 91.7 in Farmington NM.
I heard you speak about your son who is gay, I just learned less than 2 years ago that our son is also gay.
Growing up in a Christian family, this has been very difficult but I love him all the same and actually feel a different or deeper love for him.
He knows how I feel about this issue but also knows how much I love him.
I pray for him all the time and ask God to please help me and him with this situation.
Also, I understand you have had a cancer diagnosis.
I pray for you to be completely healed of this.
October 2016 I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma.
I have gone through one high dose chemo, stem cell transplant in the fall of 2017.
I am on an oral chemotherapy medicine and most likely will be on it for the duration of my life.
I pray continuously that I can beat this. I know I am in God’s hands, and there’s no better place to be.
Thanks for reading this long post and please know, you, your son and family are in my prayers.
I think it’s great you and your husband adopted the little Russian boy.
What a huge difference you must have made in his life, and most likely yours as well.
God bless.
Linda
Linda…so good to meet you here! Thank you for sharing and for praying!
In my ongoing cancer journey, I had to learn to let go of much; my job/income, home & belongings. Filing bankruptcy last year was discouraging but a must. Like yours, my life changed in moments in the ER with the words spoken “you have 2 brain tumors and a mass on your liver” (mass later discovered to be a hemangioma). A major craniotomy and 3 months
later radiosurgery on the 2nd tumor followed. I had a new inoperable tumor in 2018 which required 33 radiation treatments and I have an autoimmune disease called Scleroderma. I have needed Jesus with skin on SO much & prayed those very words. I’m unable to drive since my craniotomy, treatments and resulting peripheral vision loss. Needing help is a given. Having to articulate what I need is hard. The friend who offers tangible things like trips to infusion every 4 weeks, medical appointments, store, just chance to get out, shop. laugh & feel like I’m alive- thats a true gift and Jesus with skin on! They are quite rare & few. More are the “everyone is just so busy” and don’t offer at all. Even my church saying “we’ve exhausted all options” when there hasn’t been any help. I truly have to give it to God and GREAT is His faithfulness for His glory. I do my part asking, praying for help & He makes it happen in unexpected ways. Im grateful, thankful. He calls me to give hope to others, to “tell His glory story” and that’s what I do.
Thank you for sharing your journey of hope!
Christie, you’re going through alot! I’m glad you’ve experienced people who have been Jesus with skin on!