If You Win You’ll Lose

Marriage Monday

Mark: Jill and I aren’t big sports fans but we did watch some of the Super Bowl yesterday.  It was quite a game!

Jill: After the game, we were talking about the fact that there’s no marriage Super Bowl, although many times we approach marriage as if it’s a game to win.

Mark: Marriage isn’t a competition. In fact, there’s no room for competition in a loving relationship. We run the game of life together and cheer each other on.

Jill: There’s no keeping score. No 50-50. It has to be 100-100. Serving doesn’t keep score and we’re called to serve one another.

Mark: And finally there’s no winning in marriage. Even in disagreement. We can’t be motivated to win. We have to make sure that reasons never trump relationship. When we disagree, our goal needs to be understand each other’s concerns, not win the argument.

Jill: So what do we lose if we try to win? We lose our spouse’s trust. We lose our intimacy. We lose safety in our marriage. We lose out on loving well.

Mark: The next time you set out to win, stop yourself. Because if you work to win in marriage, you’ll lose for sure.

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